Okay, let’s talk about relationships. It’s a messy topic, but a very common one. I’ve been in a few myself, some good, some, well, not so good. One thing I’ve noticed that really trips people up is expectations. We all have them, right? But sometimes, they’re just way out there, and that’s when things start to get rocky. So today, I want to share what I did to keep my expectations in check, hoping this helps some of you folks out there.
Started With Some Soul Searching
First off, I sat down and really thought about what I wanted from a relationship. Not what I saw in movies or read in books, but what I, personally, needed to be happy. This was tough. It’s easy to say “I want love and happiness,” but what does that actually mean for me? I started listing these things out, being as specific as I could. For example, instead of “support,” I wrote down “someone who supports my career goals and understands my need for personal space.”
Had “The Talk”
Next up, I actually talked to my partner about these expectations. This wasn’t a one-time, formal sit-down. It was more like a series of conversations. I remember one time we were just driving, and I brought up how important honesty was to me, and how little white lies, even about small stuff, could really hurt me. These chats, they weren’t always easy. Sometimes, we realized we wanted different things, and that was scary. But it was better to know than to guess, right?
Kept Checking In
- I made it a point to regularly check in with myself and my partner. Things change, people grow, and what you wanted a year ago might not be what you want now. So, we kept talking.
- Sometimes, I journaled about my feelings and expectations. It helped me understand myself better and articulate my needs more clearly when I talked to my partner.
- We also started a little ritual. Every couple of weeks, we’d just sit down and ask each other, “Is there anything you need from me that you’re not getting?” It sounds simple, but man, it made a huge difference.
Learned to Compromise
This was a big one. I realized that not every single one of my expectations was going to be met all the time, and that was okay. Relationships are about give and take. I learned to pick my battles and to understand that my partner had their own set of needs and expectations too. Sometimes, I had to let go of the smaller things to focus on what really mattered to both of us. One time, I realized I was holding onto an expectation that was more about my ego than about what I truly needed. I let it go, and honestly, it felt liberating.
Embraced Imperfection
Finally, I learned to embrace imperfection, both in myself and in my partner. Nobody’s perfect, and expecting them to be is just setting yourself up for disappointment. I started to appreciate the quirks and flaws, understanding that they’re part of what makes us human. And when things weren’t perfect, which was often, I tried to approach the situation with understanding and compassion, rather than frustration. I found that my partner often reciprocated this approach, making our relationship much stronger and resilient.
So, that’s basically what I did. I dug deep into my own needs, I talked a lot with my partner, we both kept checking in, and learned to compromise and accept each other for who we are, flaws and all. It wasn’t always a smooth ride, but these steps really helped me manage my expectations and build a stronger, more honest relationship. And remember, this is just my experience. What worked for me might not work for everyone, but I hope it gives you a few ideas to try out. Relationships are hard work, but when you get it right, they’re so worth it.
