Alright, y’all listen up! I’m gonna tell ya how to make one of them… uh… things… for the fellas. You know, a, a… “flesh light,” they call it. Don’t ask me why, sounds kinda dirty, but whatever. It ain’t nothin’ fancy, but it gets the job done, ya hear?
First off, you gotta get yourself a dang bottle. Not too big, not too small, just right. Like, you know, about this big shows with hands. Thinkin’ like a soda bottle or somethin’. Make sure it’s clean, though. We ain’t makin’ no mess here. Wash it good, real good. Scrub it with soap and water, none of that fancy stuff needed.
Next up, you gotta find somethin’ soft. Real soft. Like, uh… what’s that stuff they put in pillows? Yeah, that’s it. Stuffing! You can get it from an old pillow or buy it new. Don’t matter none. Just make sure it’s clean, ya hear? You don’t want no bugs or dirt in there. That wouldn’t be nice at all.
Now, this is the tricky part, but even you young’uns can do it. You gotta take that stuffing and push it into the bottle. Not too much at once, ya hear? A little bit at a time. Push it in real good, pack it tight. You want it nice and snug in there, like a, like a… well, you know. Keep stuffin’ it in till it’s full, but not too full. Leave a little space at the top.
- Find a bottle.
- Get some stuffing.
- Pack the stuffing into the bottle.
Okay, now for the important part. You gotta make it… you know… feel good. So, we gotta add somethin’ slick. You can use, uh… well, I ain’t gonna say it out loud, but you know what I mean. Somethin’ slippery and, uh, kinda… warmish. Just a little bit, though. Don’t go pourin’ the whole bottle in there. A little dab will do ya.
And that’s pretty much it. You got yourself a homemade flesh light, country style. Ain’t pretty, but it works. And it didn’t cost you much neither. You can use it whenever you need it, just remember to keep it clean, ya hear? Wash it out good after every use. Nobody wants no nasty stuff growing in there. And make sure you hide it good, so them kids don’t find it. Land sakes, they’d have a field day with that!
Important Note: This thing, this here contraption, it ain’t for everybody. Some folks might not like it, and that’s just fine. You do what makes you happy, ya hear? And always, always be respectful of others. Don’t go shamin’ nobody for what they do in their own bedroom. And for heavens sake, keep this thing to yourself. We don’t need the whole town knowin’ our business.
Now, I ain’t no expert on these things, ya hear? I’m just an old woman tryin’ to help a fella out. If you got questions, you can ask, but don’t expect no fancy answers from me. I’m just tellin’ it like it is, simple and plain. And if you don’t like it, well, that’s your problem, not mine. You can go figure it out yourself then.
And lastly, for all you youngsters out there, remember, there is more to life than these things. You have responsibilities, ya hear? Go get an education, find a good job, and treat people right. And maybe someday, when you are old and gray like me, you can tell your own stories about the crazy contraptions you made. Until then, you listen to your elders and try not to get into too much trouble.
And one more thing! Don’t go blaming me if this thing don’t work right or if you don’t like it. I told you it wasn’t fancy. It is what it is, just a simple thing to get the job done. You wanted a cheap and easy way to do it, well, here it is. Now go on and do somethin’ productive with your day, ya hear?
And remember to always wash your hands! Hygiene is important, no matter what you’re doin’. And don’t you dare tell nobody where you heard this from! It’s our little secret, ya hear?
Tags: DIY, Sex Toy, Homemade, Flesh Light, Men’s Health, Adult Toys, Personal Care
