Alright, let’s talk about this… this stuff you use when… you know… when you’re alone. We ain’t gonna be fancy here, I’ll tell ya like it is. We’re talkin’ about that lubricant for masturbation, yeah, that slippery stuff.
Now, why would ya need it? Well, sometimes things ain’t as… easy as they used to be. You get older, things dry up, ya know? Like a creek bed in the summer. And sometimes, even if you ain’t old, it just feels better, makes things smoother. Like greasin’ a pan before ya fry an egg.
There’s all sorts of this stuff out there, more than a hen has feathers! Some are like water, some are thick and gooey, some are… well, I ain’t gonna get into that. The water kind, they say that’s good if your skin gets itchy easy. Sensitive skin, they call it. Like a baby’s bottom, I guess. But they dry up quicker than a puddle in the sun, so you gotta keep addin’ more. More trouble than it’s worth, if ya ask me.
Then there’s the other kinds, the ones made with that silicone stuff, or even oil. Now, those last longer, stick around like a bad smell. But, and this is a big but, they can mess up your toys. Yeah, those things you use… You know what I’m talkin’ about. And if you’re usin’ those rubber things with a fella, well, these oily ones can make those rubber things break. And then you got a whole heap of trouble, let me tell ya.
- Water-based lube: Good for sensitive skin, but dries out fast.
- Silicone lube: Lasts longer, but can mess up toys and some condoms.
- Oil-based lube: Also lasts long, but not good with condoms.
Now, some folks say you can use stuff from the kitchen, like that olive oil. I’ve heard of folks usin’ all sorts of things, even butter! But I ain’t so sure about that. Seems to me like you’re askin’ for trouble. Might clog things up, ya know? Best to stick to the stuff they make for it, I reckon. Unless you like goin’ to the doctor, which I surely don’t. Doctors cost a pretty penny, and they poke and prod ya like you’re a prize-winning pig at the county fair.
So, how do you pick the right one? Well, first off, think about what feels good. That’s the most important thing, ain’t it? If it feels like sandpaper, toss it out! And then, think about whether you need it to last long, or if you got sensitive skin. And for goodness sake, read the label! It ain’t gonna bite ya.
And don’t be shy about buyin’ it. Everybody and their grandma uses it, even if they don’t admit it. It’s just like buyin’ soap or toothpaste, somethin’ ya need to keep things clean and… well, you know. And don’t go buyin’ the cheapest stuff you can find, neither. You get what you pay for, that’s what my ma always said. Spend a little extra and get somethin’ that’ll do the job right and won’t cause ya problems down the road.
One more thing, if you’re usin’ this stuff and things start to feel… off… like it’s burnin’ or itchin’ or somethin’, stop usin’ it! Go wash it off and try somethin’ else. Your body’s tellin’ ya somethin’, and you best listen. Don’t be stubborn like an old mule.
So, there you have it. That’s the long and short of it. Now go on and do what you gotta do, but do it safe and do it comfortable. And don’t you be ashamed of it. It’s natural, like breathin’ or eatin’ or… well, you get the picture. It’s your body and your business, ain’t nobody else’s.
Remember, comfort and safety are key when choosing any kind of personal lubricant. If you are not sure which lubricant to choose, ask your doctor for advice.
Tags: [lubricant, masturbation, personal lubricant, sex, sexual health, wellness, comfort, safety, water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, sensitive skin, toys, condoms]
