Alright, let’s talk about this… uh… “gotman” thing. I ain’t no fancy scholar or nothin’, but I reckon I know a thing or two about gettin’ along with folks, especially when it comes to them lovey-dovey relationships.
Now, from what I gather, this “gotman”—sounds like some kinda big-shot fella—he’s got some ideas on how to make marriages work. Marriage, huh? That’s a tough one. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and let me tell you, it ain’t always sunshine and roses.
This gotman fella, he talks about “Seven Principles.” Sounds fancy, don’t it? But I bet it boils down to some good ol’ common sense. Stuff like, you know, bein’ nice to each other, listenin’ when your partner’s talkin’, and not always tryin’ to be right.
- Listen up, I say! You gotta hear what your partner’s sayin’, not just waitin’ for your turn to yap. That’s what my old pappy used to say, “Two ears, one mouth, use ’em in that proportion.” Wise words, them was.
- Be kind, for goodness sake! Nobody wants to live with a grump all the time. A little kindness goes a long way, you know? A smile, a helping hand, a “thank you”—it ain’t rocket science.
- Don’t be fightin’ all the time. Arguments happen, sure, but you gotta learn how to fight fair. No name-callin’, no yellin’, and for the love of Pete, don’t bring up stuff from ten years ago! That’s just stirrin’ the pot.
This gotman also talks about a “Sound Relationship House.” Now, I ain’t never built no fancy house, but I built a chicken coop once, and I reckon the same rules apply. You need a strong foundation, good walls, and a roof that don’t leak.
In a relationship, that foundation is trust and commitment. You gotta trust your partner, and you gotta be committed to makin’ it work. The walls are things like communication, affection, and respect. And the roof? Well, that’s shared meaning and dreams. You gotta have somethin’ you’re workin’ towards together.
I heard this gotman fella is a therapist. A therapist, huh? Back in my day, we didn’t have no therapists. We just talked to our neighbors, or maybe the preacher. But I guess times have changed. And maybe that ain’t such a bad thing. Sometimes, you need someone to help you sort things out, someone who ain’t gonna take sides.
But let me tell you somethin’ for free: no therapist, no book, no fancy “gotman” method is gonna magically fix your relationship. It takes work. Hard work. You gotta be willin’ to put in the effort, to compromise, to forgive. And you gotta remember why you fell in love in the first place.
It ain’t always easy, that’s for sure. There will be days when you wanna throw in the towel, when you think you’ve made a mistake. But if you stick with it, if you keep workin’ at it, you just might make it work. And that’s worth fightin’ for, ain’t it?
So, yeah, this “gotman” fella might have some good ideas. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you and your partner to make it work. Just remember the basics: be kind, listen up, and don’t give up easy. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a long and happy life together, just like me and my old man… well, most of the time, anyway.
One last thing, I tell you. Don’t go lookin’ for answers in all those fancy books and big words. The answer is right there in your heart. Just listen to it, and you’ll be alright.
Tags: [gotman, marriage, relationships, communication, love, couples, therapy, principles, advice, commitment]
