Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… this thing, you know, the anal plug. Don’t go giggling now, it’s a serious matter, or so they tell me. I ain’t no expert, mind you, just heard things, seen things, and now I gotta tell you about it. So, listen up.
First off, what is this anal plug thing anyway? Well, from what I gather, it’s like a little stopper, you know, like the one you use for the sink, but… well, you put it somewhere else. Yeah, there. Don’t make me spell it out for you. And why would anyone do that, you ask? Beats me, but some folks seem to like it. They say it feels… good? I dunno, to each their own, I guess.
Now, if you’re thinkin’ about tryin’ it, don’t just go jammin’ anything up there, ya hear? You gotta be careful. They say you gotta pick the right size. Not too big, not too small, just right, like Goldilocks and her porridge, but for your… well, you know. And for goodness sake, lube it up! Don’t be a dry stick in the mud, that ain’t gonna be pleasant for anyone. They got special lubes for this kinda thing, so don’t go usin’ cooking oil or somethin’, ya silly goose.
So, how do you… you know… put it in? Well, I ain’t gonna give you a play-by-play, but I hear it’s gotta be slow and gentle. No rushin’, no pushin’ too hard. And clean, for crying out loud! Wash your hands, wash the… thing… and keep everything tidy. Nobody wants a mess, that’s for sure. They also say you need to relax, take deep breaths like you’re about to birth a calf, only this calf is going the other way. I don’t get it, but that’s what they say.
- Pick the right size: Don’t be greedy, start small.
- Lube it up: Don’t be a cheapskate, get the proper stuff.
- Go slow: No need to hurry, take your time.
- Keep it clean: Nobody wants a mess down there.
- Relax: Breathe deep, don’t tense up.
And how long can you keep it in? Well, that’s another one of those things that depends, I guess. Some folks keep it in for a little while, some for longer. But don’t go fallin’ asleep with it in, that sounds like a recipe for disaster. And don’t go doin’ cartwheels or anythin’ crazy. Just take it easy, will ya?
Some folks use this butt plug thing to get ready for, um, other things. You know, the kind of things that happen behind closed doors. They say it helps you get used to the feelin’, stretches things out a bit, makes it easier later on. I don’t know about all that, but if it works for them, who am I to judge? Just don’t go blabbin’ about it to the whole town, some things are best kept private, ya know?
And when you’re done, take it out gentle like. Don’t go yankin’ it out like you’re pullin’ weeds from the garden. And clean up again, for Pete’s sake! Hygiene is important, even if you’re doin’ things that ain’t exactly… normal. At least that’s what the city folk say.
So, that’s the lowdown on these anal plugs, as far as I know. It ain’t somethin’ I’d personally be doin’, but hey, everyone’s different. Just be safe, be clean, and be smart about it. And don’t go tellin’ everyone I told you, okay? My reputation is at stake here!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my chickens. They’re much less complicated than this whole anal plug business.
Tags: [Anal Plug, Butt Plug, Anal Play, Anal Sex Toy, Anal Insertion, Anal Lube, Butt Plug Size, Safe Anal Play]
