Well, let me tell ya, what is this “bid couples therapy” thing, huh? It’s like this, you know, when your old man wants somethin’ from ya, like a little attention, a little lovin’, or maybe just a nod that you’re listenin’. That’s a bid, plain and simple.
What’s a Bid, Anyway?
It ain’t rocket science, I tell ya. A bid is just a way your partner tries to connect with you. Could be a word, a look, a touch, anything really. Like, if he’s grumblin’ about his day, he ain’t just complainin’, he’s askin’ for you to listen, to care, to be there for him. Or maybe he tries to hold your hand, that’s a bid too, a bid for some closeness, you know?
These smart folks, the Gottmans, they say these bids are mighty important. They’re like the little threads that hold a marriage together. If you ignore them, well, the threads start to fray, and then the whole thing can come undone.
- Big Bids, Little Bids, They All Count
Some bids are big, like when your partner says, “I need to talk,” or “I’m feelin’ lonely.” But most of ’em are small, everyday things. A smile, a wink, a question about your day. Don’t go thinkin’ only the big ones matter, ’cause they all add up. It’s like waterin’ a plant, you gotta give it a little bit every day, not just a big bucket once in a while.
Turnin’ Towards, Turnin’ Away, or Turnin’ Against
Now, here’s the kicker. When your partner throws out a bid, you got three choices. You can turn towards it, turn away from it, or turn against it. Turnin’ towards means you pay attention, you show you care. You might give ’em a hug, listen to their story, or just say, “Yeah, I hear ya.” That’s what builds trust and keeps the love alive.
Turnin’ away is when you ignore the bid. You’re too busy with your phone, or the TV, or whatever, and you don’t even notice your partner reachin’ out. That hurts, you know? Makes ’em feel like they don’t matter.
And then there’s turnin’ against. That’s when you get nasty. You criticize, you argue, you make ’em feel small. That’s like poison to a marriage, I tell ya.
So, What’s This Therapy Stuff All About?
Well, this “bid couples therapy” is all about learnin’ to see those bids and respond to them in the right way. It’s about learnin’ to communicate better, to listen with your heart, and to show your partner you care. It ain’t gonna magically fix everything, but it can give you the tools you need to build a stronger, happier relationship.
It Ain’t Easy, But It’s Worth It
Look, marriage ain’t a walk in the park. It takes work, it takes effort, and it takes a whole lotta understandin’. But if you’re willin’ to put in the time and learn to turn towards those bids, well, you got a good chance of makin’ it last. It’s like plantin’ a garden, you gotta tend to it every day if you want it to grow and bloom.
Don’t Wait ‘Til It’s Too Late
And don’t go waitin’ until things are fallin’ apart before you get help. If you’re startin’ to feel disconnected, if you’re arguin’ all the time, or if you just feel like somethin’s missin’, well, maybe it’s time to give this “bid couples therapy” a try. It might just be the best thing you ever do for your marriage.
It’s All About Connection
At the end of the day, it all comes down to connection. We all want to feel loved, we all want to feel like we matter. And those little bids, well, they’re the way we reach out to each other and say, “Hey, I’m here, I see you, I love you.” Learn to see ’em, learn to respond to ’em, and you’ll be well on your way to a stronger, happier relationship.
Findin’ Help
Now, if you’re thinkin’ this might be somethin’ you need, don’t be shy about lookin’ for help. There’s folks out there, therapists and such, who can teach you how to do this stuff. You can find ’em online, or maybe your doctor knows somebody. Just don’t wait too long, you know? The sooner you start, the better.
It Ain’t Just for Young Folks
And don’t go thinkin’ this is just for young couples. It don’t matter how long you’ve been together, you can always learn to connect better. Me and my old man, we been married for fifty years, and we still learnin’ new things about each other. It’s a journey, I tell ya, a long and winding journey, but it’s a whole lot better when you’re travelin’ together.
Keep it Simple
Remember, it ain’t about big grand gestures, it’s about those small everyday moments. A kind word, a gentle touch, a listening ear, those are the things that matter most. So, pay attention to your partner, listen to their bids, and show ’em you care. It’s as simple as that, and as important as breathin’.
Tags: [Couples Therapy, Relationship Advice, Marriage Counseling, Emotional Connection, Communication, Gottman Method, Bids for Connection, Love, Trust, Intimacy]
