Hey there, y’all! Let’s talk about somethin’ called bid for connection. Sounds fancy, huh? Don’t you worry none, it ain’t as complicated as them city folks make it out to be. It’s just about how we try to get a little love and attention from the people we care about, you know, like your husband, your kids, or even your good-for-nothin’ brother-in-law.
Now, some smarty-pants doctors, they call it the “fundamental unit of emotional connection.” Big words, right? Means it’s the littlest thing you do to show someone you need ’em. Like, you might just give your hubby a little wink across the room, or maybe you ask your kid to help you shell peas. That’s a bid, see?
It can be somethin’ you say, like, “Honey, could ya hand me that there wrench?” or somethin’ you don’t say, like just reachin’ out to hold someone’s hand. It’s all about tryin’ to connect. It ain’t rocket science. It’s just plain ol’ human stuff.
- Verbal bids: Like askin’ for a hug, or tellin’ someone you appreciate ’em.
- Nonverbal bids: A smile, a touch, makin’ eye contact, even just sittin’ close to someone on the porch swing.
So, how does this bid thing work? Well, you throw out a bid, like a fishin’ line, hopin’ someone bites. And how they react? That’s the tell-tale sign of how strong your relationship is. Them smart doctors say there’s three ways folks can react.
First, they can turn towards you. That’s the good stuff. That means they pay attention. If you wink, they wink back. If you ask for help, they get off their lazy butts and help. That makes you feel good, right? Like you matter.
Then there’s turning away. That ain’t so good. That’s like when you ask your husband to take out the trash and he pretends he didn’t hear ya. Or you try to tell your kid about your day and they just keep starin’ at that darn phone. It makes you feel kinda lonely, like you’re talkin’ to a brick wall.
And the worst? That’s turning against you. That’s when they get all mean and nasty. Like if you ask for a hug and they say, “Get away from me, you smell like onions!” Ouch! That stings, don’t it? It makes you feel like they don’t care about you at all, maybe even that they don’t like you much.
These doctors, they studied a whole bunch of couples, like forty thousand of ‘em! Can you imagine? That’s more folks than live in my whole county! And they figured out that the couples who turn towards each other a lot, they’re the happy ones. The ones who turn away or turn against? Well, they ain’t doin’ so hot.
So, what can you do if you feel like your bids ain’t gettin’ answered? First thing, you gotta pay attention. Start noticin’ the little ways people try to connect with you. Don’t just brush ‘em off. And then, you gotta try harder yourself. Make more bids. Don’t be afraid to reach out. And most important, be kind when someone reaches out to you. It don’t cost nothin’ to be nice.
Think of it like plantin’ a garden. You gotta water the seeds if you want ‘em to grow. Relationships are the same way. You gotta nurture ‘em with attention and kindness. If you don’t, they’ll just wither and die.
Now, I ain’t no expert, just an old woman who’s seen a thing or two. But I know this much: we all need connection. We need to feel loved and appreciated. And these little bids? They’re the way we do it. So, pay attention, folks. And don’t be afraid to reach out. It might just make all the difference in the world.
Building trust and intimacy ain’t easy. It takes work. But it starts with these little bids. So next time your husband asks you to pass the salt, don’t just grunt and throw it at him. Look him in the eye, smile, and maybe even give his hand a little squeeze. It’s the little things, y’all, the little things.
And if you’re havin’ trouble talkin’ to your loved one, well, there are things you can do right now to make it better. Start by listenin’. Really listenin’. Not just waitin’ for your turn to talk. And try to understand where they’re comin’ from. Even if you don’t agree with ‘em, at least try to see their side of things. That’s what love is all about, ain’t it?
Remember, connection ain’t just about romance or fancy words. It’s about those small, everyday moments where you show someone you care. So go on, throw out a bid. You might be surprised who bites.
Keywords: bid for connection, emotional connection, relationship, communication, intimacy, trust, attention.
