Alright, let’s talk about somethin’ a little… you know… wink wink. Let’s talk about how to, well, how to get yourself some fun with them… uh… toys. Yeah, those kinda toys. Don’t go gettin’ all flustered now, it’s natural as breathin’, even if nobody talks about it much.
First off, what are these things anyway? Well, they ain’t like the dolls your grandbaby plays with, that’s for sure. These here toys, they’re made to make you feel good, real good. They come in all shapes and sizes, like them zucchinis in my garden, some long and skinny, some short and fat. You got your vibratin’ ones, the ones that go buzz buzz buzz, and then you got your regular ones, the ones you just, you know, use yourself. And don’t forget about the ones for your fella! Yep, they got toys for men too. More on that later.
Now, if you’re new to this whole toy business, don’t you worry your pretty little head. It ain’t rocket science, though it might feel like it at first! Startin’ slow is key. Pick somethin’ small, somethin’ that don’t look too scary. You don’t wanna jump into the deep end with a giant thingamajig, ya know? Maybe somethin’ smooth and gentle, somethin’ that feels nice to the touch. You can find these things at all sorts of places now, even online, though I ain’t too sure about that internet stuff myself. Just make sure it’s made of somethin’ safe, somethin’ that won’t irritate your… you know… down there.
So, you got your toy, now what? Well, first, make sure you’re relaxed. Maybe take a warm bath, light a candle – though be careful with fire, wouldn’t want you burnin’ the house down. You gotta be comfortable, that’s the most important thing. And clean! Gotta make sure everything’s squeaky clean. Wash your toy before and after, just like you wash your dishes. Use some warm water and soap, nothin’ fancy, just good ol’ soap and water. And make sure you’re clean too! Nobody wants a dirty hoe, if you know what I mean.
- First things first: Find yourself a quiet spot where nobody’s gonna bother ya. Lock the door, turn off the phone, the whole shebang. This is your time, your private time.
- Then, get yourself some lube. Yes, lube. It’s like grease for a car, makes everything run smoother, if ya catch my drift. Don’t be shy about usin’ it, plenty is better than not enough. You can get this stuff at the drugstore, just ask for…well, just ask for lube, they’ll know what you mean. If they give ya a funny look, just ignore ‘em. They ain’t got nothin’ better to do than be nosy.
- Now, take your toy and…well, explore. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Just go slow, pay attention to what feels good, and don’t be afraid to experiment. Your body is your own, and you’re the one in charge.
- If it hurts, stop. Plain and simple. Pleasure ain’t supposed to hurt. If somethin’ ain’t feelin’ right, then don’t do it. There’s plenty of other ways to have fun.
What about if you got a fella? Well, toys can be fun for couples too! It can spice things up, ya know? Make things a little more interestin’ than the usual ol’ routine. Talk to your fella, see if he’s open to tryin’ somethin’ new. Maybe he’ll even like it more than you do! There’s toys for men, too, just like I said before. Things to make them feel good, things to help them last longer. It’s all about havin’ fun together, makin’ each other happy.
Now, I know some folks might think this talk is shameful, but I say phooey on that! Everybody deserves to feel good, and if a little toy can help with that, then so be it. It’s your body, your pleasure, and nobody else’s business. Don’t let nobody tell you otherwise. Pleasure is a gift, and you deserve to enjoy it, whether you’re young or old, single or married.
And don’t be thinkin’ that this is just for young folks either. Why, us older folks, we deserve to have some fun too! Just cause the wrinkles are showin’ don’t mean the fire’s gone out, you hear? In fact, sometimes a little toy can help keep that fire burnin’ bright. So go on, give it a try. You might just surprise yourself. And if you don’t like it, well, at least you tried. But somethin’ tells me you just might like it, might like it a whole lot.
So there you have it, a little talk about… well, you know… toys. It ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of, nothin’ to hide. It’s about feelin’ good, and that’s somethin’ we all deserve. Just remember to be safe, be clean, and most importantly, have fun. And don’t forget the lube!
