Alright, let’s talk about this… this “lotus” thing. You youngsters got all sorts of fancy names for stuff, but back in my day, we just called it… well, never mind what we called it. Anyways, this “lotus sex position,” from what I gather, it’s all about sittin’ down and gettin’ cozy.
What is this “lotus” thing anyway?
So, from what I hear, one person sits down, legs all crossed like they’re meditating or somethin’. You know, like them folks on TV trying to find their inner peace? Yeah, that kind of sittin’. Then the other person, they kinda… well, they sit on top, facin’ the first person. Sounds like a lot of leg work to me, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
- One person sits cross-legged: Like I said, like they’re about to start hummin’ and chantin’ or somethin’.
- The other person sits on top: Face to face, like you’re havin’ a good ol’ chinwag, but… closer.
They call it “yab-yum” too, these fancy folks. Sounds like somethin’ you’d yell at a goat to get it movin’, but apparently, it’s got somethin’ to do with that tantra stuff. Don’t ask me what that is, I ain’t got a clue. All I know is, it involves a whole lotta huggin’ and lookin’ into each other’s eyes. Back in my day, we just looked at the chickens, but times change, I guess.
How do you even get into this “lotus” position?
Well, first off, you gotta find yourself a flat spot. Floor, bed, couch… doesn’t matter much, long as it ain’t pokin’ you in the behind. Then, one of you gotta sit down, legs crossed all nice and neat, like you’re tryin’ to impress the preacher. The other one… well, they gotta kinda… climb on top. Carefully, mind you! Don’t want nobody tumblin’ off and breakin’ a hip. Then you just… sit there. Face to face. Lookin’ at each other. Seems a bit awkward to me, but who am I to judge?
What’s so special about this “lotus” thing?
Now, I hear this “lotus” position is real good for… intimacy. That’s what the young folks call it these days. Intimacy. Back in my day, we just called it… well, you don’t need to know that. Anyways, this intimacy thing, it’s all about bein’ close, lookin’ at each other, feelin’ each other… you get the picture. And apparently, this “lotus” position lets you do all that face to face. So you can kiss, you can look into their eyes, you can… whisper sweet nothin’s, I guess. Sounds a bit mushy to me, but hey, if it makes you happy, go for it.
Is it like that yoga stuff?
Yep, this “lotus” thing, it’s actually based on some yoga pose. Same name and all. Padma-somethin’ or other. You know, that bendy-twisty stuff them skinny folks do? Where they put their feet on their thighs and look like they’re about to tie themselves in a knot? Yeah, that’s the one. So, I guess if you’re good at that yoga stuff, this “lotus” position might be a piece of cake. But if you’re like me, and the closest you get to yoga is bendin’ down to pick up the dropped chicken feed, well… you might need a bit of practice.
Can you do other things in the “lotus” position?
Now, from what I’ve heard, this “lotus” position ain’t just for sittin’ and starin’ at each other. You can apparently do all sorts of things. You can kiss, like I said. You can… hug. You can even… well, let’s just say you can get a bit more… active. They even mentioned somethin’ about “missionary” and “doggy-style,” but I ain’t got a clue how you’d manage that while sittin’ down. Sounds like a circus act to me, but hey, young folks are bendy, I guess.
Is this “lotus” thing for everyone?
Honestly, I don’t know. Seems like a lot of work to me. And all that leg crossin’… I can barely get out of bed in the mornin’ without my knees crackin’ like a dry twig. But, if you’re young and limber and you like lookin’ into people’s eyes, then maybe this “lotus” thing is right up your alley. Just be careful, don’t go breakin’ nothin’. And for goodness sake, don’t tell the preacher what you’re doin’. He’d have a conniption fit, that’s for sure.
Anyway, that’s the gist of it, as far as I can tell. This “lotus sex position” thing. Sounds complicated, but I suppose if you’re young and flexible and want something more than the regular way of doing things, it might be something to try. Just make sure you have a good chiropractor on speed dial, just in case.
