Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… this “sex bucket list” thing. Sounds fancy, don’t it? Like somethin’ them city folks would cook up. But hey, even us old hens can learn a thing or two, right? So, what’s this all about? Seems like it’s a list of things to try… you know… in the bedroom. Don’t get your knickers in a twist, I ain’t gonna get all graphic on ya. We’re gonna keep it… respectable, you know?
So, first off, what’s the big deal? Why do folks need a list for this kinda thing? Well, I reckon it’s like this: Sometimes, things get a bit… stale. Like bread left out on the counter too long. Hard as a rock and not very tasty. Same goes for, well, you know… that. Gotta keep things fresh, gotta keep things interesting. Otherwise, you and your… partner… might start lookin’ at each other like you’re strangers at the market. And nobody wants that, do they?
Now, this “expert” lady, Tracey Cox, she says there’s like 50 things you can try. Fifty! That’s a whole lot of… experimentin’. I ain’t gonna go through all 50, mind you. My cheeks are red enough as it is. But we can talk about some of the… easier ones, maybe. Things that won’t make you feel like you’re tryin’ to climb a greased pig at the county fair.
One thing she talks about is… tryin’ different things. Now, ain’t that the truth? You can’t just keep doin’ the same old thing night after night and expect it to be… exciting. It’s like eatin’ grits every day for breakfast. Sure, grits are fine, but sometimes you want a biscuit, you know? So, maybe try… a different position. Or maybe try… a different time of day. Heck, maybe try… a different room! Just keep it… spicy, that’s what they say.
Another thing this Emily Morse lady, the one who talks about sex on the… radio… she says you gotta set the mood. Now, that makes sense, don’t it? You ain’t gonna feel all… romantic… if the house is a mess and the kids are screamin’ and the dog’s barkin’ at the squirrels. Gotta make things… nice. Light a candle, maybe. Put on some soft music. Not that head-bangin’ stuff the youngsters listen to. Somethin’… pretty. You know, the kind of music that makes you wanna sway a little.
- Clean the room: Nobody wants to get… frisky… in a pigsty.
- Light a candle: Makes things smell good and sets the mood.
- Soft music: Ditch the rock and roll, put on somethin’ smooth.
And then there’s this Susan Bratton woman… seems like everybody’s an expert these days, ain’t it? She says… well, she says a lot of things, but the main thing is… talk to each other. Imagine that! Talkin’! It ain’t all about the… physical stuff. You gotta connect with your partner, gotta know what they like, gotta tell them what you like. It’s like dancin’, right? You gotta be in sync, gotta move together. Otherwise, you’re just stompin’ on each other’s feet.
So, what else is on this list? Well, there’s talk about… toys. Now, I ain’t gonna pretend I know much about that. Seems kinda… newfangled… to me. But hey, if it makes things more… fun… then who am I to judge? Long as it ain’t dangerous, of course. Don’t want nobody gettin’ hurt. And then there’s stuff about… role-playin’. Pretendin’ you’re somebody else. Like… a movie star or a… a cowboy? I don’t know. Seems a bit silly to me, but hey, whatever floats your boat, right? The important thing is to be… comfortable… and to have… fun… with your partner.
And let’s not forget about… bein’ kind. Yeah, that’s right. Bein’ kind. This ain’t a competition, it ain’t about seein’ who can… finish first. It’s about… connectin’… with someone you care about. It’s about… sharin’… somethin’ special. So, be gentle, be patient, be… considerate. And most importantly, be… yourself. Don’t try to be somebody you ain’t. Don’t try to do somethin’ that don’t feel right. Just… relax… and enjoy the ride, so to speak.
So, there you have it. My take on this… sex bucket list. It ain’t rocket science, is it? Just a bunch of common sense stuff, really. Keep things fresh, set the mood, talk to each other, be kind, and have fun. That’s all there is to it. Now, go on and… spice things up… a little. But be safe, and for goodness sake… don’t tell nobody I told you all this. I got a reputation to uphold, you know.
