Alright, let’s talk about them… what do you call ’em… remote control vibrators. Yeah, those things. Now, I ain’t no fancy expert or nothin’, but I heard some things, seen some things, and I can tell ya what I know. Don’t go expectin’ no big words or complicated stuff from me, I just talk plain.
First off, what are these things anyway? Well, from what I gather, they’re little gadgets, some smaller than a baby carrot, they say. And you can, you know, use them on your… down there parts. Some folks use ‘em inside, some outside. It’s all up to you, I guess. They say it can be, um… fun. Make you feel good, you know? Relax and all that.
Now, these ain’t your grandma’s vibrators, not that your grandma would even talk about such things. These new ones, they got all sorts of fancy features. Some of ’em, you can control with your phone! Can you believe it? Your phone! Like you ain’t already glued to that thing enough. They say you can change the buzzing, the, uh, the way it moves, all from your phone screen. Crazy, I tell ya.
- They got ones you control with a little remote, too. Like a TV remote, but for… well, you know.
- And some, they say you can even let someone else control it from far away. Long distance, they call it. Don’t ask me how that works, sounds like witchcraft to me.
- And then there’s the buzzin’. They say you can get all sorts of different buzzin’ patterns. Some strong, some gentle, some… well, I don’t know how to explain it. They even got some that buzz along to music! Now that’s just somethin’ else.
If you’re just starting out with these things, they say there’s plenty of choices for beginners. Wand vibrators they call some of ‘em. Sounds like somethin’ you’d use to clean the house. Then there’s these little egg things. You can put ‘em inside, or use ‘em outside. And they’re waterproof, so you can, uh, use ‘em in the bath, I guess. Just be careful not to drop ‘em in the toilet, that’d be a mess.
Now, where do you get these things? Well, I hear they sell ’em at all sorts of places. Big stores, little stores, online too. Just type in “best vibrators for beginners” on that computer thingy and you’ll find all sorts of places sellin’ ’em. Lovehoney, Dame, Amazon… sounds like a bunch of fancy names to me.
And if you wanna get your, uh, partner involved, these remote control ones might be the ticket. Give ‘em the remote and let ‘em have at it. Could be fun, I suppose. Or maybe just awkward. Depends on who you’re with, I reckon.
I even heard about these fancy ones, like Blush Wellness Imara and Satisfyer Curvy 2+. Sound like car names to me. But I guess they’re supposed to be real good. Pressure waves, they say. I ain’t got a clue what that means, but it sounds… intense.
They got all sorts of different kinds, too. Dildos, for folks who like that. Anal plugs… well, I ain’t gonna say nothin’ about that. And all sorts of other things I can’t even pronounce. It’s a whole new world out there, I tell ya. Things sure have changed since I was a young gal. Back then, we didn’t have no fancy gadgets. We had… well, never mind what we had.
So, there you have it. My two cents on these remote control vibrators. I ain’t tellin’ you to go out and buy one, and I ain’t tellin’ you not to. It’s your business, not mine. Just be safe, be careful, and for goodness sake, don’t let the preacher catch you with one. He’d have a conniption fit. And don’t go blabbin’ to everyone about it neither. Some things are best kept private, you know? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my chickens.
Oh, and one more thing. Don’t go spendin’ all your money on these things. They can be expensive, I hear. And there’s more important things in life than, well, you know. Like a good cup of coffee and a warm biscuit. Now that’s somethin’ worth spendin’ your money on.
