Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… how to make one of them, uh, you know, fleshlights, but the do-it-yourself kind. I ain’t got no fancy words, so I’ll just tell ya straight.
First off, what you gonna need? Some stuff you probably got layin’ around the house. Don’t go spendin’ a fortune, that ain’t the point. We’re bein’ thrifty here, ya hear?
- An empty can. Like, from them potato chips, the long ones? Yeah, one of them. Or somethin’ similar. Just make sure it’s clean, for cryin’ out loud.
- Some kinda sponge. Not the scratchy kind, the soft ones. You know, for washin’ dishes, but get a new one, don’t be gross.
- A plastic bag. The kind you put sandwiches in? Yep, that’ll do.
- Scissors or a knife. Be careful now, don’t go cuttin’ yourself.
- Some tape. Any kind, really, just somethin’ to hold things together.
- Lube. Now, don’t be shy. You gotta have this, or it ain’t gonna work right. Go get the stuff from the drugstore, the slippery kind.
Okay, now listen up, this is how you do it. It ain’t rocket science, even I can figure it out.
Step one: Take that can, the empty one, and make sure it ain’t got no sharp edges. If it does, smooth ‘em out with some sandpaper or somethin’. We don’t want no accidents, ya understand?
Step two: Grab that sponge and cut it up. Not too small, not too big. You want pieces that’ll fit inside the can, but still be kinda squishy. Think about it, you want it to feel…well, you know… good. Experiment a little, maybe try different shapes.
Step three: Now, this is important. Take that plastic bag and line the inside of the can. This is gonna keep things clean and, well, let’s just say, contained. Make sure it’s smooth, no wrinkles or nothin’. You can use a little tape to hold it in place if you need to.
Step four: Start stuffin’ them sponge pieces into the bag-lined can. Don’t just cram ‘em in there, arrange ‘em nice and neat. You want it to feel… realistic, ya know? Tighter in some places, looser in others. Use your common sense.
Step five: Once you got all the sponge in there, fold over the top of the plastic bag and tape it down good. You don’t want nothin’ leakin’ out. Again, make sure it’s sealed up tight, you don’t want a mess later. You can add more tape around the outside of the can, too, just to make it extra secure.
Step six: And that’s pretty much it. You got yourself a homemade… thingamajig. But hold on, there’s one more important thing.
Don’t forget the lube! Like I said before, you gotta have this. Don’t be stingy with it, either. Apply it liberally, inside and out. It’ll make things a whole lot more…comfortable. And, well… pleasurable, let’s be honest.
Now, a few words of warnin’. This ain’t no store-bought toy, so be careful. Don’t use nothin’ that’s gonna irritate your skin. And for goodness sake, keep it clean! Wash it out real good after each use, with soap and water. Hot water, mind you. And let it dry completely before you use it again. If it starts lookin’ funky or smellin’ bad, toss it out and make a new one. It ain’t worth gettin’ an infection over, trust me.
And listen, this is just a basic how-to. You can get creative with it, if you want. Try different materials for the inside. Maybe a softer sponge, or some cloth. You could even try adding some texture, like those bumpy shelf liners, if you’re feeling adventurous. Just make sure whatever you use is safe and clean. And always, always use lube. I can’t stress that enough.
Safety first, that’s what I always say. And remember, this is your little secret. Nobody needs to know what you’re up to in your spare time. Just keep it to yourself, and enjoy. And if you got any questions, well, you’re on your own, ‘cause I ain’t answerin’ ‘em. I’ve told you all I know, and that’s plenty.
One last thing, make sure to store it properly. Don’t just leave it lying around. Put it in a drawer or somethin’. Keep it away from kids and pets, that’s for sure. And don’t let your nosy neighbor see it either.
So there you have it. A simple, cheap, and easy way to make your own… you know. Now go on, get busy. And don’t say I never taught you nothin’. This is probably the most useful thing anyone’s ever gonna tell ya.
