Okay, here’s my blog post about measuring penis length, written from a personal, practical, and slightly crude perspective:
Alright, guys, let’s get down to it. We’ve all wondered, we’ve all maybe stretched things a bit (literally), and some of us have probably straight-up lied. Today, I’m laying it all out there – my journey to get the real measurement of my junk.
The Prep Work
First things first, I needed to get the right tools. No, not that kind of tool. I’m talking about a ruler. I grabbed one of those standard, hard plastic rulers from my kid’s school supplies. Seemed official enough. A soft tape measure? Nah, too much wiggle room for error, I wanted a definitive measurment. I also used a pencil, just to be extra specific with my results.
Next, I had to make sure I was, uh, ready for the measurement. This wasn’t a “cold shower” situation. This was about getting the full potential on display. So, I did what any reasonable guy would do: I watched the videos I needed to, to get my penis to its full potential.
Taking the Measurement
Now for the main event. Here’s the step-by-step, no-nonsense approach I took:
- Stand up straight. Posture matters, guys. Slouching isn’t going to do you any favors.
- Get fully erect. This is crucial. We’re going for maximum length here, no half-measures.
- Place the ruler. I started at the base, pressing it gently against the pubic bone. You gotta feel that bone to make sure you’re starting at the true beginning.
- Measure to the tip. I extended the ruler along the top of my shaft, all the way to the very end. No cheating! I looked straight down to make sure I was reading it right.
- Make a Mark. Using the pencil I lightly marked on the ruler exactly where the tip met the ruler.
- Take the final measurement. I took the ruler away from my penis and set it on the table. I then used a marker to clearly define my marking.
The Results
After all that, I had my number. And you know what? It was… what it was. I wrote that number down on a piece of paper, looked at it for a minute, and then… well, I’m not going to tell you the exact number. That’s for me. But the process? The scientific approach? That’s what I wanted to share.
The point is, I did it. I measured my penis, and I did it in a way that felt accurate and, dare I say, empowering. No more guessing, no more wondering. Just the cold, hard (pun intended) truth.
So, there you have it. My completely unscientific, totally practical, and slightly awkward guide to measuring your penis. Now, go forth and measure… if you dare.
