Alright, listen up, y’all. We gonna talk about makin’ your own, you know, that thing for men. A “fleshlight,” they call it. Don’t go spendin’ your hard-earned money on fancy store stuff, no sir. We can make one right here at home, and it’ll work just as good, maybe even better, you hear?
Why bother makin’ your own best diy fleshlight? Well, I’ll tell ya. First off, it saves you a whole heap of cash. Them store-bought things, they cost a pretty penny, don’t they? And who knows what they’re made of? This way, you know exactly what’s goin’ in it, and you can make it just the way you like it. Ain’t that somethin’? Plus, it’s kinda fun, like makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’. You get a good feelin’ from that, you know?
- Saves Money
- You control what it is made of
- You can customize it
- It is fun
Now, let’s get down to business. First thing you gonna need is a, well, somethin’ soft and squishy. Thinkin’ a sponge is good for this part. Them big ol’ car washin’ sponges, they work real well. Or maybe one of them fancy bath sponges, the ones that hold all that soap. You just go find yourself a nice, soft sponge. Make sure it’s clean, though. Nobody wants no dirty nothin’, you hear?
Next up, we gotta make it, you know, the right kinda shape. You gotta hollow out that sponge a little bit. A sharp knife works good, but be careful now. Don’t go cuttin’ yourself. We ain’t got time for no doctor visits. Just take your time and make that hole just big enough. You know what I mean. Not too big, not too small, just right. Like Goldilocks and her porridge, but, you know, different.
Alright, once you got that sponge all hollowed out, it’s time to make it feel nice. This is where you get creative. You can use all sorts of things. Some folks like to use soft cloth, like them old t-shirts you got lyin’ around. Cut it up into strips and line that hole with it. Make it all soft and cozy. Other folks, they like to use them plastic bags, the real thin ones. They say it makes it feel, well, different. You gotta experiment a little, see what you like best. Ain’t no right or wrong way, long as it feels good to you.
Now, here’s a little secret. Some folks like to add a little somethin’ extra. You know, for extra… pleasure. A little bit of lotion, that works real good. Makes things all slippery and smooth. Or maybe some of that baby oil, the stuff they use on babies. That’s real slick, too. Just don’t use too much, or you’ll have a mess on your hands, and nobody wants that. Just a little dab will do ya, like they say on that hair grease commercial.
And there you have it, your own homemade best diy fleshlight. Ain’t that somethin’? Simple as pie, ain’t it? Now, you go on and enjoy yourself. But remember to keep it clean, ya hear? Wash it out good after every use. Nobody wants no stinkin’ nothin’ lyin’ around. And for goodness sake, don’t go tellin’ everybody your business. This here’s between you and me, alright?
Some folks might tell you this ain’t right, talkin’ about such things. But I say, it’s natural. Everybody needs a little comfort now and then. And if you can make that comfort yourself, well, more power to ya, I say. Just be safe and be smart, and don’t let nobody tell you what you can and can’t do in your own home.
And that’s all there is to it. Go on now, get yourself a sponge and get to work. You’ll be surprised how easy it is, and how good it feels. And remember, ain’t no shame in takin’ care of yourself. Just keep it clean, keep it quiet, and have yourself a good time. You deserve it.
Now I ain’t no expert on this stuff, mind you. I’m just an old woman who knows a thing or two about makin’ do with what you got. But if you follow these steps, you’ll have yourself a nice little somethin’ in no time. And if it ain’t quite right the first time, don’t give up. Just try somethin’ different, add a little more somethin’ or take a little somethin’ away. You’ll get it just right eventually. And don’t you go lookin’ at me all funny, neither. We all got our needs, and this here’s just a way to meet ’em without breakin’ the bank. Now go on and get, I got chickens to feed.
