Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… thing. How to make one of them, you know, at home. A, uh, fleshlight. Yeah, that’s the word. Don’t go tellin’ nobody I told ya this, ya hear?
Why Make Your Own, You Ask?
Well, I’ll tell ya. Sometimes, you just can’t be bothered to go to the store. And those things, they ain’t cheap! Money don’t grow on trees, you know. Making it yourself? That’s just plain smart. Saves a few pennies, and heck, you get to make it just the way you like it. It’s like makin’ a good stew, gotta have the right ingredients, and gotta make it your own way.
What You’ll Need – Gather ‘Round, Now
- Something soft inside: Think old socks, maybe a sponge, or even some of that fluffy stuffin’ from an old pillow. Just make sure it’s clean, ya hear? Nobody wants a dirty… you know.
- Something for the outside: A plastic bottle works good, or maybe a piece of pipe. Something sturdy, you know? Gotta hold it all together.
- Lube: Well, this is important. You can use lotion, or even some of that cooking oil, if you’re in a pinch. But make sure it’s safe, alright? Don’t go usin’ nothin’ that’ll cause a rash. We don’t need that down there.
- Tape: Gotta keep it all together, right? Duct tape works best, that stuff can fix anything. But any strong tape will do.
Let’s Get to Makin’ It – Step by Step
Step 1: The Insides
Take that soft stuff, whatever you picked, and make it nice and… well, you know. Shape it how you want it, make it fit inside your bottle or pipe. If you’re usin’ a sock, you might need a few, or maybe some other stuff inside to make it thicker. It’s all about what feels good, you see.
Step 2: The Outside
Get that bottle or pipe, make sure it’s clean, real clean! Cut it to the size you want, if you need to. And make sure there ain’t no sharp edges, don’t want to hurt yourself now, do ya?
Step 3: Putting it Together
Now this is the tricky part. Carefully put that soft stuff inside the bottle or pipe. It’s gotta be snug, you know? Don’t want it slippin’ and slidin’ around. And if you’re usin’ a sock, you can just pull it over the bottle, like puttin’ on a glove. Just make sure it’s all the way on. Then tape it up real good. Wrap that tape tight, make sure it ain’t gonna come apart on ya. You don’t want that happenin’, believe me.
Step 4: Lube it Up
Alright, almost done. Now, before you go usin’ it, put some lube all over that soft stuff. Don’t be shy, use plenty. It’ll make things a whole lot more… comfortable. And that’s all there is to it!
Tips and Tricks from an Old Gal – Listen Up
- Keep it Clean: This is real important. Wash it out good after every use. Soap and water, just like washin’ dishes. And let it dry real good, don’t want no mold growin’ in there. That’d be nasty.
- Experiment: Don’t be afraid to try different things. Different materials for the inside, different sizes for the outside. Find what works best for ya. It’s like bakin’ a cake, sometimes you gotta try a few times to get it just right.
- Be Safe: This should go without sayin’, but be careful. Don’t use anything that could hurt ya. And if it don’t feel right, stop. Simple as that.
Other Ideas – If You’re Feelin’ Fancy
You could try adding some texture to the inside. Maybe some beads, or some ribbed fabric. Get creative with it! And if you’re really ambitious, you could even try adding a vibrator. Just tape it to the outside, real good. Now that’d be somethin’ wouldn’t it? Some people use ice cubes or even hairbrushes, but that sounds a little too crazy for me. Stick to the basics, that’s what I say.
Last Words – Don’t Go Tellin’ Everyone
So there you have it. How to make a homemade fleshlight. It ain’t rocket science, just a little bit of common sense and some elbow grease. Now, don’t go blabbin’ about this to everyone you meet. This is our little secret, ya hear? And remember, there’s no shame in takin’ care of yourself. Everybody needs a little somethin’ somethin’ now and then. Just be smart about it, and be safe.
And one more thing, if you really want something fancy just go buy one from the store. But if you’re like me and like savin’ a dollar or two, well, now you know how. You take care now, ya hear?
