Alright, let’s talk about this… uh… “butter churner” thing. Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in the kitchen, not the bedroom, but hey, what do I know? I’m just an old woman tryin’ to make sense of all these newfangled terms.
So, from what I gather, this butter churner sex position ain’t about churnin’ butter at all. It’s about… well, you know… It’s about gettin’ down to business, if you catch my drift. Seems like it’s one of them positions young folks are comin’ up with these days.
- First off, you gotta lay on your back. That much I understand. Back in my day, layin’ on your back mostly meant you were tired after a long day of workin’ in the fields. But I guess times have changed.
- Then, you gotta get them legs up in the air. And I mean way up. Like you’re tryin’ to touch the ceilin’ with your feet or somethin’. Sounds like a lot of work to me, but hey, I ain’t the one doin’ it. Sounds like you need strong legs and belly muscles for this one.
Now, this is where it gets a bit… complicated. You gotta kinda… balance yourself. Use your neck, your arms, whatever you got, to keep yourself from fallin’ all over the place. I’m imaginin’ it looks like a wobbly table tryin’ to hold a whole Thanksgiving dinner. Not the prettiest sight, I reckon.
And then, there’s the other person. They gotta be on top. Sorta like… well, like they’re ridin’ a horse, I guess. But a human horse. And they gotta… you know… do their thing. In and out, up and down. That part ain’t changed much over the years, far as I can tell. It’s just the gettin’ into position that seems so darn complicated these days.
Some folks say this butter churner position is similar to somethin’ called the “piledriver.” Now, that sounds even worse! Like somebody’s gonna get their head knocked off or somethin’. I swear, these young folks and their crazy names. Why can’t they just call things what they are?
They say this position lets the person on top… well, they say it lets them change things up. Go deeper, go shallower, change the angle. Sounds like a lot of fuss to me. Back in my day, we didn’t have time for all that fancy maneuverin’. We were too busy tryin’ to get the chores done and put food on the table.
I also heard tell that this here butter churner sex position is supposed to be… what’s the word… versatile? I guess that means you can do it in different ways or somethin’. But honestly, I don’t see how. Looks like a pretty set position to me. You’re either up in the air like a flagpole or you ain’t. Not much room for wiggle-waggle, if you ask me.
And this shoulder stand thing they talk about? Lord have mercy! Sounds like a circus act. I can barely get out of bed in the mornin’ without creakin’ and groanin’, let alone standin’ on my shoulders. These young folks must be made of rubber or somethin’.
So, there you have it. That’s my take on this… uh… butter churner thing. Sounds like a whole lot of work for not much reward, if you ask me. But hey, I ain’t one to judge. To each their own, I always say. If it makes them happy, then more power to ‘em. Just be careful not to break your neck, that’s all I gotta say.
Key takeaway? If you are young and bendy, go for it. If you are like me, stick to what you know and don’t try and act like a spring chicken, you’ll just hurt something.
And honestly, someone should really come up with better names for these things. Butter churner? Really? Makes me wanna go make some biscuits instead. At least I know what I’m doin’ in the kitchen.
