Okay, so I’ve been thinking a lot about how important friendship is, not just outside of a relationship, but inside it too. My partner and I, we’ve been together for a while, and I realized we needed to actively work on being friends, not just lovers. Here’s what I did, and man, it made a difference.
Start with Real Talk
First thing, we started talking, like really talking. Not just about bills or what’s for dinner. We set aside time, usually after the kids were in bed, to just chat. No phones, no TV, just us. We talked about our day, sure, but also about our hopes, fears, even silly stuff we saw online. It was awkward at first, felt like we were dating again, but it opened things up.
Find Shared Fun
Next, we looked for things we both genuinely enjoyed. We used to love hiking, but life got in the way. So, we dusted off our boots and hit the trails again. It wasn’t always pretty – sometimes we were tired, sometimes we bickered about the route – but we were doing it together. We also started a silly little competition to find the best burger joint in town. Anything to laugh and connect.
- Scheduled “friend dates”: Movie nights, trying a new restaurant, even just playing a board game.
- Tried new things: Pottery class? Sure, why not! It was a disaster, but we laughed so hard.
Support Each Other’s Dreams
We started small, asking each other what we wanted.
This was big. We both had individual dreams, things we wanted to achieve outside of the relationship. So, we became each other’s cheerleaders. I started going to his open mic nights (even though poetry isn’t really my thing), and he helped me set up my little online shop. It wasn’t always easy to find the time, but showing up for each other, that’s friendship gold.
Little Things, Big Impact
Then there were the small things. Leaving little notes for each other, making coffee in the morning, just giving a random hug. These weren’t grand gestures, but they showed we were thinking of each other, that we cared. It’s like building a muscle – you gotta work at it consistently, even when you don’t feel like it.
It’s a Work in Progress
It’s not perfect, and we still have our moments. But actively working on our friendship within the relationship? It’s changed everything. We’re closer, we laugh more, and honestly, it’s just more fun. We remembered why we liked each other in the first place, not just as partners, but as people. It’s an ongoing thing, like tending a garden – you gotta keep watering it, pulling weeds, and enjoying the blooms.
