Listen up, y’all, let me tell ya somethin’ about this… uh… “where can I have sex in public” thing. Folks these days, I swear! Always lookin’ for trouble, just like my ol’ rooster back on the farm. Always peckin’ where he shouldn’t.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ I know much about this, mind you. I’m just a simple woman, seen a lot in my years, and I hear things. And let me tell you, this ain’t somethin’ you wanna be broadcastin’ to the whole wide world. Keepin’ it quiet’s always best, like hidin’ the good biscuits from the grandkids.
But since you asked, and seems you’re lookin’ for places to be frisky outdoors, well, I reckon some folks talk about doin’ it in their cars. Yeah, like parkin’ in some outta the way spot, where nobody’s gonna bother ya. Kinda like findin’ that perfect shady spot for a picnic, only, you know, not for eatin’ sandwiches. They say you gotta make sure it’s secluded though, don’t want no busybodies pokin’ around. And, for goodness sake, make sure you’re old enough, ya hear? Ain’t nobody got time for trouble with the law.
Then there’s this other thing I heard, somethin’ about “doggin’ sites.” Now, don’t ask me what that means exactly, sounds like somethin’ you do with your hound dog, but apparently, it ain’t. From what I gather, it’s places where folks go to… well, you know… and other folks might watch. Sounds mighty peculiar to me, like watchin’ paint dry, but to each their own, I guess. If you go lookin’ for these places, be careful now. You don’t know who’s lurkin’ about. And if you don’t want no company, best keep them lights on, or go when it’s all quiet like. Just like keepin’ the porch light on so the raccoons stay away from the trash.
- Finding a Secluded Spot: Look for places where nobody’s gonna bother you, you know. Like behind the old barn, but maybe not so dusty. And make sure it’s safe, don’t want no trouble.
- Car Business: If you’re gonna do it in your car, find a quiet place to park. Not on Main Street, for crying out loud. And make sure nobody can see in. It’s like changing your clothes in the car, only different.
- Doggin’ Sites: I still don’t quite get this one, but if you’re into it, be careful. And if you don’t want people watchin’, keep them lights on, or go when it’s quiet as a mouse.
- Age Matters: Now, this is important. Don’t be doin’ nothin’ you ain’t supposed to be doin’ if you ain’t old enough. You’ll get yourself in a heap of trouble, and that ain’t no good.
Honestly, this whole thing seems like a recipe for disaster to me. Why can’t folks just keep their business behind closed doors? Like makin’ moonshine, you don’t do it out in the open for everyone to see, right? It’s just askin’ for trouble. But, like I said, I’m just an old woman, what do I know? You young folks, you do what you want, but don’t come cryin’ to me when things go south.
I remember back in my day, things were simpler. You courted a fella, you got married, and that was that. No fancy talk about “public places” and such. But times change, I reckon. Just remember to be smart about it, and don’t go doin’ nothin’ that’ll land you in jail. And for goodness sake, be respectful. Nobody wants to see that kind of thing goin’ on, especially not the kids. It’s like leavin’ your dirty laundry out on the clothesline for the whole town to see. Just ain’t right.
So, there you have it. My two cents on this whole “where to have sex in public” business. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it’s the truth as I see it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my biscuits. And you, you be careful out there, ya hear?
And one last thing, if you’re lookin’ for privacy, well, maybe just stay home. It’s safer, and nobody’s gonna be peeking through the windows, unless you got nosy neighbors, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. Just like keepin’ your valuables locked up safe, some things are best kept private.
This whole conversation makes me as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. But like I said before, be smart, be safe and keep it on the downlow. And remember, loose lips sink ships, just like gossip in a small town.
