Alright, lemme tell ya somethin’ about the different types of sex. This old gal has seen a thing or two, ya know? Ain’t no shame in talkin’ about it. It’s as natural as the sun risin’ and the roosters crowin’. Now, I ain’t no expert, but I know what I know. And I heard lots of stories, ya know?
First off, you got your regular sex, the kinda thing most folks think about. Man and a woman, doin’ the deed. Nothin’ fancy, just the usual. That’s how you get babies, plain and simple. You see lots of different types of sex on TV, but this is the basic one. My old man, bless his soul, he weren’t much for the fancy stuff.
Then there’s that oral sex thing. Hearin’ the young folks talk about it all the time. Seems like a lot of fuss to me. They say it’s for givin’ pleasure and all. Sounds like a whole lotta work, if you ask me. But hey, to each their own, I reckon. Some folks like it, some don’t. Just like some folks like turnip greens and some don’t. I heard it has different types too, just like sex does. It is really a lot of fuss.
And don’t even get me started on that shower sex. Slippery, dangerous, and for what? I can’t imagine how anyone gets any pleasure outta that. Sounds like a good way to break a hip, if you ask me. Maybe different types of sex are not all good. But these young people, they’re always tryin’ new things, I guess. We used to be more practical back in my day. We didn’t need all that carryin’ on to have a good time.
Now, some folks, they do it by themselves. They call it… what’s that word? Masturbation. Yeah, that’s it. Touchin’ themselves down there. Now, I ain’t one to judge. Folks gotta do what they gotta do. They say it’s a way to learn what feels good. I reckon that’s true. Even animals do it, ya know. Ain’t no shame in a little self-love, I suppose. Different types of sex can be many. This is one of them.
Then there is the different positions. Lordy, there’s a whole book on those, I hear. Like a dang acrobat show. Upside down, sideways, all sorts of ways. I don’t know how they do it without pullin’ a muscle. Back in my day, we had one way, and that was good enough. We weren’t tryin’ to be in no circus. But I guess the young people like to experiment with different types of sex. More power to ’em, I say.
There is also different types of sex between people of the same sex. They say love is love. I don’t understand it well but I know it is a type of sex.
- There is the touching and rubbing, that is one type of sex.
- There is the mouth thing, that is another type of sex.
- And there is the man and woman thing, that is a type of sex, too.
- And also, doing it by your own is also a type of sex.
Some folks like to talk about it, some don’t. Some like to watch, some like to do. Different types of sex are, well, different. It’s all personal, ya know? What one person likes, another person might not. Just like some folks like chicken gizzards and some don’t. It’s all a matter of taste, I reckon.
One thing’s for sure, though. It’s important to be safe. There’s all sorts of nasty things goin’ around these days. Gotta protect yourself. Use one of them rubber things, they say. Keeps you from catchin’ somethin’ and keeps you from makin’ babies if you ain’t ready for ’em. Common sense, really.
And it’s important to talk about it, too. With your partner, I mean. Gotta make sure you’re both on the same page. What you like, what you don’t like. No use in sufferin’ in silence. Speak your mind, I always say. It is important to talk about different types of sex.
And remember, there ain’t no right or wrong way to do it. As long as everyone’s agreein’ and no one’s gettin’ hurt, it’s all good. Don’t let anyone tell you different. You do what makes you happy. That’s what I always say. Life’s too short to be worryin’ about what other folks think. Just enjoy yourself, ya know? And don’t forget to be safe.
So there you have it. That’s all I know about the different types of sex. It’s a complicated thing, that’s for sure. But it’s a part of life. Just like eatin’ and sleepin’ and breathin’. So embrace it, I say. Embrace it and enjoy it. And talk about it, if you want. It is ok to talk about different types of sex. Just don’t be shy. We’re all adults here, ain’t we? Even if we don’t all agree on what’s what, we can still talk about it. And maybe learn somethin’ from each other. That is what I think.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go tend to my chickens. They ain’t gonna feed themselves, ya know. But you young folks have fun with all them different types of sex. Just be careful out there, ya hear?
