So, this whole “can you have more than one best friend?” thing. I’ve been mulling this over for years, really. It’s not something I just woke up and decided on. My thinking on this, well, it’s been a journey.
My Early Days: The One and Only Rule
I remember when I was younger, like, way back. The idea of a “best friend” was super rigid. It was like a title, you know? You had one. That was the rule. If you even hinted at having another friend who was equally important, oh boy, drama would follow. I definitely bought into that. I had my “best friend,” and that was that. We did everything together, shared all the secrets. It felt exclusive, and I guess, at that age, that felt important.
I went through a phase where I’d list my friends, almost like a ranking. Sounds silly now, but it was a real thing for me. I’d think, “Okay, this person is my number one.” And that meant everyone else was… well, not number one. This whole process was actually quite stressful, trying to make sure I wasn’t ‘demoting’ someone or upsetting the balance.
Life Happens: Things Started to Shift
Then, you know, life starts happening. School changes, you move, you get jobs. You meet more people. And I started noticing something. I had different friends who I connected with in totally different ways. It wasn’t planned, it just sort of happened.
I’d find myself calling one friend when I had a problem I needed to seriously talk through, someone who was a great listener and gave solid advice. Then there was another friend who was my go-to for just having a laugh, doing something spontaneous and silly. And another who shared a specific hobby, and we could talk about that for hours, something my other close friends wouldn’t get at all.
This is where my “practice” really began. I started actively observing these relationships. I didn’t consciously set out to “test” the one-best-friend theory, but I was living through scenarios that made me question it. I would think, “If X is my ‘best friend,’ why am I sharing this particular joy or sorrow with Y instead?” It wasn’t about X being deficient; it was about Y being uniquely suited for that moment or that part of me.
The “Aha!” Moment: Redefining “Best”
I spent a good chunk of time actually thinking about this, not just letting it float around in my head. I looked at the people I felt closest to. What did they bring to my life? What did I bring to theirs? It wasn’t a formal study, just me, sitting with my thoughts and experiences.
And then it sort of clicked. Maybe “best” isn’t about a single person who ticks every single box. That’s a lot of pressure to put on one individual, isn’t it? And it’s a lot of pressure on yourself to find that mythical “one.”
I realized that for me, “best friend” status wasn’t about exclusivity. It was about the depth and quality of the connection. And I found I had a few of those deep, quality connections. Each one was unique. Each one was incredibly valuable. Trying to force them into a single “best” slot felt like diminishing what I had with the others.
- One friend might be my “historical bestie” – we’ve known each other forever, share a past.
- Another could be my “intellectual bestie” – we push each other’s thinking.
- And yet another, my “emotional support bestie” – the one I can be completely vulnerable with.
Are they all “best” friends? In their own way, for that aspect of connection, yeah, I think they are. It’s not about having a committee of best friends, but recognizing that deep, meaningful friendships can exist with more than one person, simultaneously.
So, Where I Stand Now
So, after all this living and thinking, my answer is a pretty solid yes. You absolutely can have more than one best friend. For me, it’s about having a small circle of people who are truly special, who you trust implicitly, who get you, and who you’d do anything for. They might offer different things, fulfill different needs, but the core bond is just as strong with each of them.
It’s less like a competition and more like building a really strong support system. And who wouldn’t want that to be as robust as possible? It took me a while to get here, to let go of that old, rigid definition. But I’m glad I did. My friendships feel richer for it, and honestly, less stressful too.
