Alright, let’s talk about this whole “receiving love” thing. Sounds a bit fluffy, right? I used to think so too. For the longest time, I was the one doing, the one giving, the one fixing. Asking for help? Accepting a genuine, no-strings-attached kindness? Felt weird. Almost like I was failing at being self-sufficient.
My Old Default Mode
You know the type. If something needed doing, I’d just power through. Didn’t matter if I was swamped or barely knew how to tackle it. My mindset was, “I got this.” And honestly, a lot of the time, I did. But it was exhausting. And, looking back, pretty lonely too. If someone offered help, my first instinct was to say, “No, no, I’m good!” Even if I was drowning. It wasn’t about pride, not really. It was more… a habit? Like, my internal wiring was just set to “output only.”
Then Life Threw Me a Curveball
A couple of years back, I threw my back out. Badly. We’re talking “can’t even put my own socks on” bad. Suddenly, Mr. Independent was, well, dependent. It wasn’t some grand tragedy, just a stupid, everyday injury, but it floored me. My partner, my friends, even a neighbor I barely knew, started offering to do things. Groceries, cooking, walking the dog. Basic stuff I just couldn’t manage.
My Brain on Overload
My first reaction? Panic and a huge dose of “I don’t want to be a burden.” It was awful. I felt:
- Super awkward: Like, “Oh god, they’re seeing me like this.”
- Indebted: Every little thing felt like a transaction I’d have to repay tenfold.
- Weak: This was the big one. Admitting I couldn’t do it all myself felt like a personal failing.
I’d try to downplay how much pain I was in. I’d try to do things I shouldn’t have, making it worse. It was a mess, mostly in my head.
The Slow Thaw
There wasn’t one big “aha!” moment. It was more like a slow drip. My partner was just… there. Not making a big deal of it, just quietly taking care of things. A friend dropped off a meal, saying, “Don’t be silly, I made extra anyway.” No fuss, no expectation. Little by little, I had to just let go. I physically couldn’t fight it anymore.
And you know what? The world didn’t end. People weren’t keeping score. They just… cared. It was a strange feeling. To just receive. To just be looked after for a bit without having to earn it or immediately reciprocate.
What I Started to Realize
It sounds so simple now, but it was a revelation. Letting people in, letting them help, letting them show they care – that’s not weakness. It’s actually how connections get stronger. It’s a two-way street. Before, I thought giving was the only way to show love or be valuable. Turns out, being able to receive it is just as important. It lets other people feel good too, you know? Like they can actually make a difference for someone they care about.
I’m still a work in progress, no doubt. My old instincts flare up sometimes. But now, when someone offers a kindness, I try to take a breath and just say, “Thank you. That would be lovely.” And most of the time, it really is. It’s still a practice, this receiving thing, but it’s one I’m getting better at. And life’s a bit warmer because of it.
