Okay, here’s my attempt at writing a blog post about my first time, following your instructions:

Alright, so, “sex por primera vez,” huh? My first time. Man, even thinking about it now makes me kinda sweat. It was… awkward. Hilariously awkward, actually.
I was, like, 16. She was a year older, which at the time felt like a huge deal. We’d been dating for a few months, making out a bunch, the whole shebang. I remember feeling this immense pressure – not from her, but from myself. Like, this was supposed to be amazing, right? The movies made it seem so effortless.
So, we’re at her house, parents out for the night. Pizza, bad movie on TV, the usual teenager setup. We start making out, things are heating up. I’m fumbling with her bra strap – seriously, who invented those things? – and my hands are all sweaty. I’m pretty sure I even bumped my head on the headboard at one point. Smooth, real smooth.
Finally get the bra off. Okay, deep breaths. This is it. Except… I couldn’t find it. Seriously! It’s like my junk decided to play hide-and-seek at the worst possible moment. Panic. I’m pretty sure my face was the color of a fire engine.
She noticed, obviously. And bless her heart, she didn’t laugh. Or, at least, not out loud. She just kinda giggled and helped me out. Which, in hindsight, was kinda hot, but at the time I just wanted the earth to swallow me whole.

Okay, problem semi-solved. Now comes the actual part. We both kinda just stared at each other for a second, like, “Okay, now what?” It was clumsy. Really clumsy. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just going off of what I’d seen in movies which, surprise surprise, is not exactly accurate.
It definitely didn’t last long. And I’m pretty sure I apologized afterwards. Like, multiple times. She was super cool about it, though. Told me it was okay, we’d figure it out. Which was a relief, because honestly, I was terrified I’d ruined everything.
It wasn’t the earth-shattering, mind-blowing experience I’d been led to believe it would be. It was awkward, clumsy, and over way too fast. But you know what? It was real. It was us. And honestly, looking back on it now, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It was a learning experience, that’s for sure. And it made for a pretty damn funny story later on.
So, yeah, that was my “sex por primera vez.” Don’t expect perfection. Expect awkwardness. Expect fumbling. Expect to learn a whole lot. And most importantly, expect to laugh about it later.