Well now, let me tell ya, dealin’ with shame ain’t easy, especially when it comes to family. It’s a big thing in them therapy sessions, where folks go in tryin’ to fix their problems, but sometimes, it don’t work out so good. It’s like tryin’ to fix a broken wheel without the right tools – ya can talk ’bout things all day long, but if ya ain’t feelin’ it, nothin’ changes.
In them therapy sessions, they try somethin’ called “experiential family therapy.” It’s a fancy way of sayin’, “let’s live through these feelings, not just talk ‘bout ‘em.” Ain’t no use sittin’ ‘round just talkin’. Folks gotta feel them emotions deep down, so they can understand ‘em, and maybe, just maybe, start changin’ somethin’ inside. But here’s the tricky part, sometimes people just can’t connect with them feelings. They leave the session, and it’s like they ain’t learned nothin’. Feels like pourin’ water into a sieve, don’t it?
Now, shame is one of them feelings that can be real heavy, like a sack of potatoes hangin’ round your neck. It can make people pull away from others, hide in the shadows, and feel like they’re not good enough. And when shame gets in the way, it sure don’t help the healing. In family therapy, it can be tricky to work with shame. Folks get all defensive or shut down if ya bring it up the wrong way. But that don’t mean we can’t try.
How Do Ya Deal With Shame?
Well, in them sessions, some therapists use a trick called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT for short. This here helps people work through shame by teachin’ ‘em to name them feelings and learn to handle ‘em better. When ya know what’s happenin’ inside, it makes it easier to deal with it. Ya can’t fix somethin’ if ya don’t know what’s broken, right? In DBT, they teach folks how to soothe themselves, to stop that shame from takin’ over. But that ain’t the whole story, no sir.
Another thing they do is focus on building trust and secure bonds within the family. You see, shame can make people feel isolated, like they’re all alone in the world. But if a family can come together, truly support one another, well, that shame starts to lose its power. It’s like when you’re out in the field workin’ all day, but at the end of the day, you know you got folks by your side who got your back. That feeling, that sense of connection, it helps a lot.
What About Homework?
Now, therapy don’t just happen in them fancy offices, it’s somethin’ folks gotta work on at home too. The therapist might give ‘em some homework, like workin’ on self-compassion. That means bein’ kind to yourself, not beatin’ yourself up every time you mess up. They say it’s important to look at yourself the way ya look at someone you love, ‘cause if you wouldn’t talk to your friend the way you talk to yourself, then why treat yourself so bad?
Sometimes, people need a little push to see the good in themselves. They’ve been carryin’ around that sack of shame for so long, it’s hard to even remember what it feels like to stand up straight without it draggin’ ‘em down. But when they do start treatin’ themselves better, they start to see the world a little different. And ya know, when that happens, change can really start happenin’.
At the end of the day, dealin’ with shame in therapy is all ‘bout creating them real moments of connection. Folks can talk and talk, but it’s when they live through them feelings, face them head-on, that change starts to happen. It’s like plantin’ seeds in the ground – you gotta water ‘em, tend to ‘em, and wait for that little sprout to push through. But if ya keep at it, it’ll grow, and that shame don’t have the same hold on ya anymore.
So, if you’re sittin’ there thinkin’ about whether this kind of therapy is for you, just remember: it ain’t about fixin’ everything all at once. It’s about feelin’ through it, understandin’ it, and knowin’ that ya ain’t alone. And if you can get through that, well, maybe you’ll find that shame don’t gotta be the thing that controls your life no more.
Tags：[Experiential Family Therapy, Shame, Family Therapy, DBT, Self-Compassion, Emotional Healing, Therapy Strategies]
