Okay, so, “my husband isn’t romantic,” huh? Let me tell you, I’ve been there. It’s like, you see all these movies, read these books, and your partner’s idea of romance is… taking out the trash. Not exactly swoon-worthy.
First thing I did? Stopped hinting. Guys are, bless their hearts, not mind readers. I used to drop these subtle “Oh, I saw the cutest flowers at the store…” Nope. Didn’t work. So, I got direct. I straight up told him, “Hey, I’d really love it if we could have a date night this week.”
Then, I specified what I meant by “romantic.” For him, romantic might be watching sports together. For me, it’s more about connecting emotionally. So, I explained that I wanted something where we could actually talk and focus on each other. Dinner, a walk in the park – something simple but intentional.
Here’s where it got tricky: I realized I had to compromise. He’s just not a naturally romantic person. Expecting him to suddenly become Mr. Darcy wasn’t realistic. So, I started small. I suggested we try doing one “romantic” thing a month. That felt less overwhelming for both of us.
I also started showing him what I considered romantic. I planned a date night, cooked his favorite meal, and put on some music. Basically, I led by example. Sometimes, seeing what you appreciate helps them understand it better.
It wasn’t instant. There were a couple of awkward date nights where he was clearly uncomfortable. But I stayed patient and positive. I focused on the effort he was making, even if it wasn’t perfect.
And you know what? It started to rub off on him. He actually planned a surprise picnic a few months later. It wasn’t some elaborate thing, but he remembered my favorite sandwich and found a spot by the river. I almost cried!
The key takeaway? Communication, compromise, and realistic expectations. Your husband might not be naturally romantic, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. Sometimes, you just need to guide him a little. And remember to appreciate the little things he does do.
A few extra tips that helped me:
- Love languages: Understanding each other’s love languages is HUGE. Maybe his way of showing love is acts of service, not gifts or words of affirmation.
- Don’t compare: Comparing your relationship to others on social media is a recipe for disaster. Focus on what you have.
- Appreciate the effort: Even if it’s not exactly what you envisioned, acknowledge and appreciate the effort he puts in.
It’s a journey, not a destination. Good luck!
