. It’s a little cheesy, but it’s a metaphor that truly resonates with me. Think about it like this: every relationship has a love bank account. You know, those fancy little accounts we keep with the banks, just for love!
We deposit love by doing all those little things that make our partners feel cherished. You know, the usual suspects: a thoughtful gesture, a compliment, an unexpected act of kindness. And just like a regular bank account, the more you deposit, the bigger your love balance gets. But here’s the catch, it’s not just about making deposits. We also make withdrawals, like when we’re grumpy or when we forget to be mindful of our partner’s feelings.
The trick is to keep those love deposits flowing consistently, so the withdrawals don’t leave you running on empty. If you want your instincts and emotions to support your marriage, you must keep your Love Bank accounts over the romantic love threshold. But how can you keep your balances that high?
Depositing Love: The Big, Small, and Unexpected
So, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of love deposits. It’s not rocket science, but it’s definitely something we need to be intentional about.
Here’s a little cheat sheet to help us:
Big Deposits
Dates: I’m talking quality time, no phones, just the two of you, doing something you both enjoy.
Gifts: It’s not about the price tag, it’s about the thoughtfulness. Think about something that speaks to your partner’s heart.
Words of Affirmation: This is about expressing love through kind and supportive words. It’s about telling them how much you appreciate them, how much you admire them, and how much you love them.
Acts of Service: Think about what your partner struggles with and see if you can take some of the weight off their shoulders. Whether it’s picking up groceries, fixing something around the house, or simply making them a cup of coffee, small acts of service go a long way.
Small Deposits
Compliments: It doesn’t have to be anything big. A simple “You look great today” or “I love how you make me laugh” can make a world of difference.
Hugs and Kisses: Physical touch is a powerful form of communication. A simple hug or kiss can say volumes.
Little Notes: Leave a sweet note on the fridge or in your partner’s lunch bag. It’s a small gesture that can make them smile.
Unexpected Deposits
Surprise: Don’t be predictable. Surprise your partner with a spontaneous date night, a little treat, or a thoughtful gift.
Random Acts of Kindness: Do something kind for them, even if it’s not directly related to the relationship. Run errands for them, pick up their dry cleaning, or do something else that shows you care.
The Love Bank Account: A Two-Way Street
It’s important to remember that love banking is a two-way street. We can’t just keep making deposits and expect our partners to do all the work.
Here’s where the magic of communication comes in. You know, those words we love to avoid? Talking, listening, and really being present.
Communicating to Keep the Balance Positive
Check In: Take time to check in with your partner. Ask them how they’re feeling, what they’re struggling with, and how you can support them.
Listen to Their Needs: We can’t just assume we know what our partners need. We need to listen to them and be open to understanding their perspective.
Talk about Your Needs: Just as important as listening to your partner is communicating your own needs. This helps your partner understand what you need from them to feel loved and appreciated.
Withdrawals: When the Balance Starts to Dip
Okay, we’ve talked about the good stuff. Now let’s talk about the withdrawals. Because they are a part of life.
The Withdrawal Risks
Neglect: When we neglect our partners, we’re essentially making a withdrawal from the love bank account. This can look like spending too much time on work, ignoring their needs, or taking them for granted.
Criticism: Nobody likes to be constantly criticized. It hurts, it undermines their confidence, and it makes them feel unloved.
Contempt: This is the most damaging withdrawal you can make. Contempt is when you treat your partner with disrespect and make them feel inferior.
Avoiding Excessive Withdrawals
We can all be guilty of making withdrawals from the love bank account. But we can learn to avoid excessive withdrawals by being aware of our actions and by being mindful of our partner’s needs.
Here are some practical tips:
Be Mindful of Your Words: Think before you speak. Make sure what you’re saying is kind, supportive, and encouraging.
Practice Forgiveness: We’re all going to make mistakes. Learn to forgive your partner, just as you would hope they would forgive you.
Make Time for Each Other: It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind, but it’s essential to make time for each other.
Love Banking: A Lifetime of Happiness
Love banking is all about building a strong foundation for a lasting and loving relationship. It’s about making deposits that build up the love bank account and avoiding withdrawals that deplete it.
It’s not about keeping a scorecard. It’s about being mindful of the love we share. It’s about actively working to nurture our relationship.
It’s not always easy. There will be times when the balance dips. But by being mindful of our love banking, we can keep our love bank account full and our relationships thriving.
Let me know, how do you keep your love bank account thriving? What are your secret love deposits?
