Okay, so things got a bit tense around here lately, you know how it goes. We weren’t really fighting loudly, but it was that quiet kind of distance, felt heavy. Someone, maybe a friend, I don’t remember exactly, mentioned trying out one of those couples therapy worksheet things. Sounded a bit weird, honestly, like homework for your relationship. But hey, figured it couldn’t hurt worse than the silent treatment we were perfecting.
Finding and Starting the Worksheet
So, I went looking for one. Just poked around online, found a few different styles. Some looked way too touchy-feely, others seemed like you needed a PhD to understand them. I eventually landed on one that seemed pretty straightforward. It had sections about communication, what bugs us, what we appreciate… stuff like that. Printed out two copies, felt kinda formal doing it.
Getting my partner to sit down and actually do it was the next hurdle. There was definitely some eye-rolling involved, mostly mine probably. We picked a time when things were calm, poured some coffee, and sat at the kitchen table. It felt awkward as heck at first. Like, okay, pencil and paper, let’s fix us? Seemed silly.
The Actual Process
We decided to fill out our sections separately first, then talk. That seemed less confrontational. The questions made you think, I’ll give it that. Things like:
- When do you feel most connected?
- What’s a small thing the other person does that you like?
- How do you typically handle disagreements?
- What’s something you wish we did more often?
Just writing stuff down was interesting. It forces you to put vague feelings into actual words. Some answers came easy, others I really had to mull over. I caught myself thinking, “Huh, I haven’t actually told them I appreciate that specific thing,” or “Yeah, I do always shut down when that topic comes up.” It wasn’t about blaming, more like just noticing patterns.
Talking it Through (The Hard Part)
Okay, then came the sharing part. This was key. Just filling it out alone wouldn’t have done much. We took turns reading some of our answers. It was… illuminating. Hearing my partner’s perspective on things, stuff I genuinely hadn’t realized, was eye-opening. Some of it stung a little, not gonna lie. But it wasn’t said meanly, it was just… their answer on the paper. We talked about why we felt certain ways. There were a few moments where we had to stop, take a breath, because the old patterns started creeping in, but having the worksheet there kind of kept us on track.
It wasn’t a magic wand. We didn’t suddenly solve everything. But it broke the ice. It got us talking about the actual issues instead of just reacting to the grumpy feelings. We saw some places where we were actually on the same page but hadn’t realized it, and clearly saw some areas where we were miles apart and needed to figure out a middle ground.
We finished the coffee, the papers were kinda scribbled on. Didn’t feel like homework anymore. Felt like we actually did something useful for a change, instead of just letting the silence build. It’s just a piece of paper, but it gave us a structure to talk, and that’s what we really needed. We might even pull it out again sometime, or find another one. Who knows? Worth a shot if you’re feeling stuck, I guess.
