Well, let me tell you, this thing, this emotionally disconnected relationship, it ain’t no walk in the park. It’s like, you know, when you got that old well out back, and it’s all dried up. Ain’t no water coming out, no matter how hard you pump that handle. That’s what it feels like, this being disconnected from your partner, emotionally I mean.
You’re there, living together, maybe even sleeping in the same bed, but it’s like there’s a big old wall between you two. A big, thick wall you can’t see, but you sure can feel. It’s a cold feeling, like when the winter wind blows right through your old bones.
And the talking, oh honey, the talking! It’s like trying to talk to a brick wall. You say something, and it just bounces right off. Your Conversations Don’t Flow Easily, no sir. It is not like it used to be. You remember back when, you could talk for hours about nothing, and it felt like the most important thing in the world? Now, you’re lucky if you get a grunt or a nod. It’s a lonely feeling, that’s for sure.
You try to reach out, you know? You try to tell them how you’re feeling, but it’s like they ain’t even listening. They just look right through you, like you’re a ghost or something. Your partner doesn’t share his or her feelings anymore either. Used to be, they’d tell you everything, the good, the bad, the ugly. Now? Nothing. Just silence. It is a heavy feeling.
- You don’t feel heard.
- You don’t feel seen.
- You don’t feel loved.
And you start to wonder, what happened? Where did we go wrong? Was it something I did? Was it something they did? Or did we just… drift apart? Like two boats on a river, just slowly floating away from each other until you can’t even see the other one anymore. That is how emotionally disconnected relationship feels like.
It’s a hard thing, this emotional disconnect. It can make you feel all sorts of things. Sad, angry, frustrated, hopeless. You might even start to feel a little crazy, like you’re the only one who cares anymore. Like you are the only one trying to fix the dry well. But you are not alone. This happens to lots of folks.
Now, I ain’t no fancy doctor, but I’ve seen a thing or two in my time. And I’ve seen folks go through this, this emotionally disconnected relationship thing, and come out the other side. It ain’t easy, but it can be done. If both people try hard, it can be fixed.
Sometimes, you just gotta talk. Even if it’s hard, even if it feels like you’re talking to a wall. You gotta keep trying. You gotta tell them how you’re feeling, even if they don’t seem to be listening. Sometimes it is very hard to say those words, but you have to try.
And sometimes, you need a little help. Someone to help you figure things out. Like that Psychotherapy thing, they call it. Talking to someone who knows about these things. It is like a doctor for your feelings. Someone who can help you understand what’s going on and how to fix it. A professional to talk to, that’s what they call it.
This cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), from what I hear, it helps you see how you’re thinking and acting, and how that might be making things worse. It is about changing your thoughts and your actions to be better, to be healthier.
They say Talking to your partner about feeling distant can be challenging, and boy, ain’t that the truth. You are afraid they will get mad, or they will just ignore you, or it will make everything worse. But, you got to do it, somehow.
It is like, you got to keep pumping that old well handle, even when you’re tired, even when it feels like nothing’s happening. You gotta keep trying, keep talking, keep reaching out. Because sometimes, after a whole lot of pumping, that water finally starts to flow again. And that’s a good feeling, a mighty good feeling.
So, if you’re feeling this way, this emotionally disconnected way, don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. It ain’t easy, but it ain’t impossible either. Keep trying, keep talking, and maybe, just maybe, you can find your way back to each other. Keep trying to get the water from the dry well, and don’t give up. You can fix this, maybe, if you both really want to.
Because even the driest well can flow again, if you just keep at it. And even the most emotionally disconnected relationship can find its way back, if you’re both willing to do the work. It is hard work, but it might just be worth it in the end. So don’t you give up, you hear?
