Alright, so you want to know how I got through being cheated on. It’s not like I woke up one day and everything was magically fine. Far from it. It was a slog, a real messy business, and honestly, I’m just sharing what happened to me, not some kind of expert guide.
First thing, finding out. Man, that hits you like a ton of bricks. For me, it wasn’t some dramatic movie scene. It was a quiet, sickening feeling that started with a weird text message I accidentally saw. Then more digging. The denial was strong at first. You try to make excuses, for them, for the situation. But eventually, the evidence just piles up until you can’t ignore it anymore.
Then came the confrontation. Awkward. Ugly. Lots of shouting from my end, probably. And then, just… emptiness. They were gone, or I kicked them out, the details are a bit blurry now, which is probably a good thing. The apartment felt huge and silent. That first night alone, I think I just stared at the ceiling. Didn’t eat. Didn’t sleep much.
The days after were a blur of just trying to function. People tell you to “be strong” or “you’re better off.” Easy for them to say, right? They’re not the ones whose world just got flipped upside down. I remember trying to go to work and just bursting into tears in the bathroom. It felt like a personal failure, like I wasn’t good enough. That’s a heavy weight to carry.
So, what did I actually do? Well, initially, not much that was constructive.
- I replayed everything in my head, a million times. What did I miss? What did I do wrong?
- I probably drank a bit too much wine, trying to numb things. Don’t recommend that, by the way. Just makes the mornings worse.
- I stalked their social media for a while. Also, a terrible idea. Just pours salt in the wound.
The turning point wasn’t some grand epiphany. It was small things. One day, I just got so sick of the mess – the emotional mess, the actual mess in my apartment – that I started cleaning. Vigorously. It was something to do, something I could control. Then a friend, a really good one, just sat with me. Didn’t offer advice, just listened while I ranted and cried. That helped more than anything.
I started forcing myself to do tiny things. Take a shower. Go for a walk, even if it was just around the block. Cooking a proper meal, not just eating cereal out of the box. Sounds basic, I know, but when you’re in that pit, every little action feels like a huge effort. I had to consciously decide to focus on myself, because clearly, the other person wasn’t.
I also had to learn to sit with the anger and the sadness. Trying to push it away just made it pop up at inconvenient times. So, I let myself feel it. Wrote a lot of angry, unsent letters. Listened to sad songs and just let it wash over me. It’s like a fever; sometimes you just have to let it run its course.
Little by Little, Things Shifted
It wasn’t fast. Months. Maybe even a year before I felt like I was properly on my own two feet again. I started doing things I enjoyed, things I’d maybe put on hold during the relationship. Reconnected with old friends they didn’t like. Picked up a hobby. Little bits of me started coming back.
A big thing was realizing that their cheating wasn’t about me. It was about them. Their issues, their choices, their lack of character. That took a long time to sink in, because your ego takes a massive hit. But once it did, it was like a weight lifted. It wasn’t my fault they broke their promises.
I also had to get real about what I wanted in the future. What my boundaries were. You learn a lot about red flags, that’s for sure. Stuff you might have ignored before, you see with crystal clarity now.
So, yeah. That’s my story. It’s not pretty, and it’s not a quick fix. There are still days, years later, when a random memory will pop up and sting for a second. But it doesn’t consume me anymore. I got through it by just… living. Putting one foot in front of the other, focusing on myself, and letting time do some of the heavy lifting. And honestly, looking back, I’m stronger for it. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I survived, and you can too. It just takes time and a whole lot of being kind to yourself, even when you don’t feel like you deserve it.
