Okay, so I saw this trend going around about taking, ahem, good bum photos. And, well, I’m nothing if not dedicated to thorough research, so I decided to give it a whirl. It was…an experience, to say the least.
Phase 1: The Setup
First, I had to figure out the, uh, staging. My bathroom mirror seemed like the obvious choice, right? I mean, that’s where I check myself out, so it made sense. I cleared off the counter – gotta have a clean background, no one wants to see my toothpaste collection.
Phase 2: Awkward Angles
Then came the hard part: actually taking the picture. My arms are only so long, you know? I started by trying the classic over-the-shoulder look. Disaster. My face looked weird, my back looked strained, and the, uh, subject was barely in the frame. I felt like a pretzel.
Next, I tried propping my phone up on the counter and using the timer. That resulted in ten blurry photos of my elbow and the ceiling. Progress?
- Attempt 1: Over-the-shoulder. Result: Fail.
- Attempt 2: Timer and counter prop. Result: Blurry mess.
- Attempt 3：Use the wall and a mirror to adjust the angle.
Phase 3: Lighting is Everything (Apparently)
I realized the overhead bathroom light was doing me no favors. It was casting all sorts of weird shadows. So, I turned that off and opened the window blinds a bit. Natural light is supposed to be better, right? It definitely helped, but I still wasn’t thrilled.
Phase 4: The Breakthrough
After about twenty minutes of contorting myself and feeling increasingly ridiculous, I finally had a semi-decent shot. I used the wall to kind of, uh, position myself, and used the front-facing camera with the flash on, aimed at the mirror. Not perfect, but definitely the best of the bunch.
Phase 5: Editing (Because Everyone Does It)
Even the “best” shot needed a little help. I’m no Photoshop wizard, but I brightened it up a bit and cropped out some of the background clutter that I’d missed. I might have also smoothed out a few…imperfections. Don’t judge.
So, there you have it. My journey into the world of bum photography. Was it glamorous? Absolutely not. Was it worth it? I’ll let the “likes” decide. But hey, at least I can say I tried, and I documented the whole ridiculous process. And let me tell you it works finally!
