Well, well, well, look what we have here. You wanna know how to have sex with a porn star? Bless your heart. I heard a lot about this kind of thing. Let me tell you, it ain’t as simple as falling off a log. But old gal like me, I heard some things in my day.
First things first, them porn stars, they’re just people, like you and me. They just do that thing for work, you know? So, treat ’em like you’d treat anyone else. Be nice, be polite. Don’t go in there all hootin’ and hollerin’ like a wild animal. These are how to have sex with them. Ain’t nobody got time for that. If you don’t want to be nice, just get out of here! Don’t waste their time.
Now, I hear these young folks talkin’ ’bout “foreplay.” Sounds fancy, don’t it? It just means, you gotta warm things up a bit. Don’t just jump right in. Talk to ’em, touch ’em a little, maybe kiss a bit here and there. Get ’em all riled up, you know? Like startin’ a fire, you gotta get the kindling goin’ before you throw on the big logs.
- Talkin’ dirty, some folks like that.
- Touchin’, you know, all over.
- Kissin’, the neck, the ears, all them places.
And they say, don’t do the same thing over and over. Switch it up! Go from this to that, and back again. Keeps things interestin’, I reckon. Like plantin’ different crops in your garden. Keeps the soil healthy and, well, you know what I mean. You have to always change your action. You don’t want to get bored.
Now, I hear these porn stars, they gotta get tested all the time. Every couple of weeks, I heard. For all them diseases, you know. ‘Cause they’re, well, they’re doin’ it with a lot of different folks. Safety first, always important. Gotta keep yourself clean and healthy, that’s what I always say. Like washin’ your hands before you eat. Basic stuff, really.
And enthusiasm! That’s a big word, ain’t it? Just means, be excited! Don’t just lay there like a lump on a log. Show ’em you’re having a good time. Moan a little, groan a little, move around some. Like dancin’ at a hoedown, you gotta put your whole self into it!
Some folks, they think these porn stars, they’re livin’ the dream. Doin’ it with beautiful people all day long. But I bet it ain’t all sunshine and roses. It’s a job, like any other. Got its ups and downs, I’m sure. Like tendin’ to a garden, sometimes you get a good harvest, sometimes you get weeds and bugs. This is how to have sex, I think.
There’s also some fellas who will give you tips. They say, these tips will make sure she’s always happy. Well, ain’t that somethin’? Every woman’s different, though. What works for one might not work for another. Like cookin’, some folks like their food spicy, some folks like it mild.
There are some tips for beginners. Some of the tips will help you become better. They say it works even for those porn stars. They may work or not. I don’t know. Just do it and see it.
But the most important thing, I reckon, is to just be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. These porn stars, they’ve seen it all, I’m sure. They can probably spot a fake a mile away. Just be honest, be respectful, and have fun. That’s what it’s all about, ain’t it? Enjoyin’ yourself and makin’ sure the other person is enjoyin’ themselves too.
And don’t be afraid to try new things. Life’s too short to be boring. If you wanna learn how to have sex, you should try it. Maybe you’ll discover somethin’ you like, somethin’ you never even thought of before. Like tryin’ a new recipe, you never know what you might end up lovin’. If you like it, you can do it again. Or you can just throw it away.
So, there you have it. That’s my two cents on the whole thing. How to have sex with a porn star? Treat ’em like a person, be respectful, be enthusiastic, and have fun. It ain’t rocket science, as they say. Just good old-fashioned common sense. And maybe a little bit of that “foreplay” stuff thrown in for good measure. Now, go on and get out of here. I got other things to do. You know, the usual things in my daily life. Don’t bother me.
