Oh, honey, you wanna know how to get your wife in the mood? Well, let me tell you, it ain’t rocket science. It’s like baking a pie, you gotta put in the right ingredients and give it some time.

First thing’s first, spend quality time with her. You gotta be nice to her, not just when you want something. Help her around the house. You know, like my old man used to help me with the dishes sometimes, even though he grumbled about it. That made my heart a little warmer, I tell ya.
And don’t just do things, talk to her. Not just about the weather or the price of beans. Ask her about her day. Listen to her when she’s yapping about her friends or whatever. Women, they like to talk, you know? Even when my old man was half-deaf, he’d still nod and pretend to listen. It’s the thought that counts, see?
- Hug her and kiss her.
- Don’t be stingy with the affection, boy.
And listen up, this is important: Be a good listener. She got a problem? Listen to her. Let her get it all out. A woman’s got a lot on her mind, what with the kids and the house and all that. A good listener, that’s worth more than a gold tooth, I tell ya.
You gotta flirt with her, too. Yeah, even if you been married a hundred years. Make her feel like she’s still the prettiest gal at the dance. A little wink here, a little touch there. Makes a woman feel special, you know?
Don’t just touch her hand, though. Look her in the eyes. A woman likes a man who can look her in the eye. Makes her feel like you really see her, not just her apron and her cooking pot. It’s a sexy thing, even if you are both wearing your dentures, heh.

Now, getting a woman in the mood is like starting a fire. You can’t just throw a match on a log and expect it to blaze. You gotta use some kindling. Some small, sweet things to get her heart going. That’s those little things you do, the hugs and the listening. Those are your kindling.
- Show her love, show her attention.
- That’s the spark.
- Use your senses.
And sometimes, you gotta give her a little space. Let her have some time to herself. A woman needs time to be herself, not just a wife and a mother. Let her read her book or gab with her friends. Don’t be all clingy, like a wet sock. It is the best advice.
And don’t forget to tell her she’s pretty. Even if her hair’s in curlers and she’s got flour on her nose. A woman never gets tired of hearing that, no sir. My old man, he used to tell me I was as pretty as a speckled pup, and it always made me smile, even though I knew he was just teasing.
Another thing, don’t be a slob. Clean up after yourself. Nobody likes a messy man. It’s just common courtesy, really. Pick up your socks, wash your dishes, and don’t leave the toilet seat up. Little things like that, they make a big difference.
Remember, getting your wife in the mood isn’t just about the bedroom. It’s about the whole day, the whole life you share. It’s about being a good husband, a good partner. It’s about showing her you love her, not just with words, but with actions, too.

You gotta be patient, too. Sometimes, a woman’s just not in the mood. And that’s okay. Don’t push it. Just be there for her, be understanding. There’s always tomorrow, right? You want her to be happy and relaxed. That’s the secret ingredient, right there. A happy wife makes things a whole lot easier, if you know what I mean.
It ain’t always easy, being married. Takes work, just like tending a garden. You gotta pull the weeds, water the plants, and give it sunshine. But if you do it right, you’ll have a beautiful garden, a beautiful marriage. And that’s worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox, I reckon.
So there you have it. That’s my advice on how to get your wife in the mood. It ain’t fancy, but it’s honest. And it works. At least, it worked for me and my old man. We were married for fifty years, and he still made me blush like a schoolgirl sometimes. Now go on, give it a try. And good luck to ya!