Well, let me tell you, that first time sex with new partner, it’s a big deal. Ain’t like riding a bike, no sir. You gotta think about some things, you know? It ain’t just jumpin’ in the hay like them young’uns do.
First off, you gotta talk. Yeah, talk! Like grown folks. Ain’t nobody got time for guessing games. You gotta say what you like, what you don’t like. And you gotta listen too. Hear what that other person’s saying. Makes things a whole lot easier, I tell ya.
And another thing, you gotta be safe. Safe as houses. Don’t be doin’ nothin’ silly. You gotta protect yourself, you hear? There are things called STI and those are no fun, if you don’t like it, just don’t do it. That’s simple. Use them, uh, whatchamacallits… them rubbers. Yeah, them. Keep yourself healthy, that’s what I always say. First time sex tips, I got a few for ya!
- Talk, talk, talk! Like birds chirpin’ in the mornin’.
- Be safe. Safer than a bug in a rug.
- Don’t be shy. Speak your mind, like you’re tellin’ the preacher your troubles.
- Listen good. Hear what they’re sayin’, like you’re listenin’ for the dinner bell.
Now, don’t you go thinkin’ it’s gonna be all fireworks and whatnot. Might be a little awkward, like two cows tryin’ to dance. Might not be perfect. But that’s okay. It takes time to figure things out, like findin’ your way in the dark. And It’s okay if you don’t get an orgasm the first time! That’s normal, don’t worry.
Don’t be rushin’ things neither. Slow and steady wins the race, like they say. Get to know each other first. Like you’re gettin’ to know a new calf. See if you like ’em, see if they like you. No need to jump the gun, you’ll make it. Sexual intercourse takes practice, just like anythin’ else.
If you’re together all day, maybe you can, you know, build things up a little. Like lightin’ a fire. Start slow, get it goin’. Maybe a little touch here, a little touch there. Nothin’ too crazy, just enough to get the sparks flyin’.
And don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Ain’t no shame in it. You want somethin’, you gotta speak up. Like orderin’ your favorite pie at the diner. Be clear, be direct. That’s the way to go. Have sex for the first time can be nerve-wracking, but it don’t gotta be scary.
Remember, it’s about havin’ fun. Enjoyin’ each other’s company. Like a good ol’ fashioned barn dance. Laugh a little, smile a lot. Don’t take it too serious. Just relax and let things happen.
And one more thing. Don’t be expectin’ no miracles. It might not be like the movies. Might be a little messy, a little clumsy. But that’s alright. It’s real life. And real life ain’t always perfect. Sex advice is everywhere, but the best advice is to just be yourself.
You know, they say it gets better with time. Like a good cheese. The more you do it, the better it gets. You learn what you like, what they like. You get comfortable with each other. Like an old pair of shoes. And you gotta have fun. This is important. If you are not having fun, then what’s the point? Just be relax and enjoy.
So, there you have it. My two cents on that whole first time sex with new partner thing. It ain’t rocket science. Just be yourself, be safe, and have a good time. And don’t forget to talk! That’s important. Just like my old man used to say, “A closed mouth gathers no feet.” Or somethin’ like that. You get the idea.
One more important thing, don’t be doin’ it if you don’t want to. Ain’t nobody forcing you. You do what feels right for you. You gotta follow your heart, like a cow followin’ the herd. It’s your body, your choice. Don’t let nobody tell you different. Be sure you have contraception with you, it’s your responsibility to protect yourself. Don’t assume that your new partner will think about it for you.
Now, go on and have some fun. But be careful out there. The world’s a crazy place. And remember what I told ya. You got this. Like a farmer plantin’ seeds. You just gotta be patient and let things grow. And if things don’t work out, don’t you worry. There’s plenty more fish in the sea, as they say. Or, in this case, plenty more bulls in the pasture. You just keep on lookin’ till you find the right one. You’ll know it when you see it. Trust me.
