Well, you know, back in them days, showing feelings wasn’t no common thing. I remember folks just keepin’ to themselves mostly, ’cause that’s how it was. Coming from a “no touchy feely” childhood, as they say, means growin’ up where hugs and pats weren’t part of the daily life. It ain’t just about gettin’ touched; it’s about not knowin’ how to show feelings to folks ’cause no one showed ’em to ya first.
See, when you’re little and you don’t get them warm gestures, like huggin’ or even simple pats, you grow up thinkin’ that’s normal. For us, affection was like somethin’ fancy city folks did, and when you grow up without it, you just don’t know how to be all mushy. Not gettin’ any hugs or sweet words makes a person feel like they gotta toughen up early on. Some kids, they learn to show their care other ways, like maybe doin’ chores for folks or makin’ sure others got food. But them big hugs and kisses? Nah, weren’t no space for that.
Now, why does this matter? Well, turns out, folks who don’t get them warm gestures grow up and they just keep to themselves. Hard to make friends or get close to people. They don’t even realize they keepin’ folks at arm’s length, so to speak. Relationships get tricky, ’cause when you never learned how to open up or be affectionate, it feels awkward. Like you just don’t know how to reach out, ‘specially when things get rough.
Some folks say missin’ that closeness makes ya feel small inside. No matter how big and strong you look, you can feel a bit hollow ’cause you never learned what love looks like in action. Love ain’t just in the words, it’s the whole thing: hugs, smiles, bein’ near. But when ya grow up without that, you get used to thinkin’ love’s somethin’ you earn by workin’ hard, not somethin’ that’s just given free. Makes a person think they don’t deserve it unless they’re workin’ their tail off.
How this affects folks as adults? Well, lemme tell ya, them folks who didn’t get no hugs, they might act cold or seem rough around the edges. Some folks even think they too much trouble for anyone to wanna be near. They get down on themselves, thinkin’ they ain’t worth nothin’ ’cause no one made ’em feel like they was. They keep it all bottled up, and that can lead to bad feelin’s like depression and anxiety. Feelin’ lonely when you’re surrounded by people, that’s a rough thing, but it happens to a lot of folks who grew up without much affection.
When ya ain’t used to bein’ close to folks, gettin’ close feels risky. You don’t know if folks are gonna up and leave, and that scares ya. Some even feel like maybe their breath stinks or they got somethin’ wrong with ’em, ’cause why else would no one wanna get close? But it ain’t them, really; it’s just how they were raised.
Now, some young folks today, they grew up with all sorts of huggin’ and lovin’. Some folks might say it’s made ’em a little softer than they oughta be, but truth is, they know how to show their feelin’s better than we did. And that’s somethin’ good if you ask me. Bein’ touchy feely ain’t all bad; sometimes it’s just what folks need. Them affectionate types, they tend to feel more open, less closed off. They know they can lean on others and don’t gotta carry it all alone.
Now, what can folks do to cope? Well, it’s not easy unlearnin’ the habits ya got growin’ up. But folks can start small – maybe just smilin’ at others, shakin’ hands, or givin’ small hugs when they feel right. Showin’ folks ya care, even if it feels awkward at first, can help warm up that stiff ol’ heart. If folks start seein’ that others ain’t gonna push ’em away, it helps open up that affection muscle, so to speak.
One thing’s for sure, feelin’ loved is somethin’ that grows over time. Even if ya didn’t get that love as a kid, ya can start lettin’ it in bit by bit, just like learnin’ any other new skill. Just gotta take it slow, like walkin’ down a muddy road – one step at a time, not too fast, or ya might slip.
So, comin’ from a place where no one talked much about love or feelin’s, I get why folks feel wary about all them touchy feely gestures. But truth is, openin’ up and lettin’ folks close can bring some peace. We all need that, no matter where we come from or how we was raised. Ain’t no shame in wantin’ to be loved, even if it takes a bit of learnin’ to show it back.
Tags：
childhood without affection, no touchy feely upbringing, effects of unloved childhood, adult relationships after cold upbringing, dealing with affection barriers
