Okay, so I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we tell people they matter. Like, really mean it when we say it. It’s easy to throw around “you’re awesome” or “you’re great,” but do those words always land? I decided to try a few things out this week, and honestly, it was kinda eye-opening.
My Little Experiment
First, I stopped with the generic compliments. Seriously. I tried to catch myself before saying something vague. Instead, I focused on specifics.
- For example, my coworker, Sarah, was stressing about a presentation. Instead of saying, “You’ll do great!”, I said, “Sarah, I was really impressed with how you handled that tough question from the client last week. You were so calm and collected. I think that same skill will really shine in this presentation.”
See the difference? I pointed out a specific instance where she excelled, connecting it to the current situation. It felt way more genuine, and she visibly relaxed.
Next, I tried active listening. Like, really listening. My friend, Mark, was bummed about a project that didn’t go well. Usually, I’d jump in with advice or try to cheer him up. This time, I just listened. I nodded, made eye contact, and asked follow-up questions like, “What part felt the most frustrating?” or “What do you think you’d do differently next time?”
I didn’t offer solutions. I just let him vent. And you know what? He ended up figuring things out himself, and he thanked me for “being there” for him. It wasn’t about me fixing his problem; it was about him feeling heard.
Another thing I did was show appreciation for the little things. My neighbor always brings in my trash cans. Usually, I just wave. This week, I stopped him and said, “Hey, I really appreciate you bringing in my cans every week. It’s a small thing, but it makes my life easier.” He smiled so big! It was a five-second conversation that probably made his day a little brighter.
The last thing I tried involed my family. I told each one what I appreciate about them, and what they worth to me. I tried to be sincere about it, and looked each other’s eyes when I told them.
What I Learned
Basically, telling someone they’re worth it isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about:
- Being specific: Point out their strengths and accomplishments.
- Being present: Listen without interrupting or judging.
- Being appreciative: Acknowledge the small things they do.
- Being sincere:Show your truly thought by you body.
It’s about making people feel seen, heard, and valued for who they are, not just what they do. It’s a small shift in how we interact, but it can make a big difference. I’m definitely going to keep working on this.
