OK, here’s the deal. Today I’m going to spill the beans on something pretty intense – rape sex. It’s not a walk in the park to talk about, but I think it’s damn important to share my experiences.
It all started when I was feeling really vulnerable. I mean, rock bottom. I got into a situation where things got out of hand, fast. I found myself in a place I never thought I’d be. There was this guy, and things escalated in a way I didn’t see coming. He pushed, I resisted, but it didn’t stop him.
At first, I froze. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to push him away, tried to say no, but he just kept going. It was like I wasn’t even there. He was on top of me, and I was trapped. I remember feeling so helpless, so powerless. There I was, just letting it happen because fighting back felt like it would make things worse.
- Tried to fight: I tried to push him off, but he was too strong.
- Said no: I kept saying no, but he didn’t listen.
- Froze up: Eventually, I just froze. It felt like there was no point in fighting.
After it was over, I just laid there. I felt numb, empty. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I felt so dirty, so violated. It was like a nightmare, but I was wide awake. I got up, got dressed, and left. I didn’t say a word.
The next few days were a blur. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt so ashamed, so guilty. I kept thinking maybe I could have done something to stop it. I replayed the whole thing in my head over and over again, wondering what I did wrong.
Eventually, I started looking for help. I found out about these places called Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs). They’ve got doctors and people who are trained to help with this kind of stuff. They offer medical support, and they can also help you deal with the emotional shit that comes with this.
Finding Support
Finding support was a game-changer. I learned about hotlines and other services that could help. The National Sexual Assault Hotline was one of them. It was a relief to know there were people out there who understood what I was going through.
I also talked to my doctor. It was tough, but I knew I needed to. They helped me understand what happened to my body and what my options were. Knowing that I wasn’t alone and that there were people who could help made a huge difference. It was important to hear from them that the healthcare system can sometimes help victims of situations like mine.
Looking back, it’s still hard. But sharing my story, even in this rough, unfiltered way, feels important. If you’re going through something like this, know that you’re not alone. There are people and places that can help. It’s a tough road, but it’s not one you have to walk by yourself.
