Okay, so I’ve been thinking a lot about emotional safety in relationships lately. It’s, like, the thing, right? You can’t have a good relationship without it. So, I decided to really focus on it in my own relationship and see what happens.
Starting Out: What Is Emotional Safety, Anyway?
First, I had to get clear on what emotional safety even means. For me, it’s about feeling comfortable enough to be totally myself, warts and all. No walking on eggshells, no pretending to be someone I’m not. It’s about sharing even uncomforable feelings and knowing that they’re not going to blow up and can be accepted by others. So, I talked to my partner about this. We kind of brainstormed what makes us feel safe and what makes us shut down.
The Experiment: Putting It into Practice
This is where it got real. I decided to focus on a few key things:
- Listening, Like, Really Listening: Not just waiting for my turn to talk, but actually hearing what my partner was saying, and trying to understand where they were coming from,even and especially when it’s difficult.
- Validating Their Feelings: Even if I didn’t totally agree with why they felt a certain way, I tried to acknowledge that their feelings were real and valid. Things like, “That sounds really frustrating,” instead of, “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
- Being Vulnerable Myself: This was the hardest part. Sharing my own fears and insecurities, even the stuff I usually keep hidden. I decided to try, and took a deep breath and started to share…
- Creating Space for Difficult Conversations: We set aside some time each week to just check in with each other, no distractions. It wasn’t always easy, but it made a big difference.
The Messy Middle: Stumbling and Getting Back Up
It wasn’t all sunshine and roses. There were definitely times when I messed up. I’d get defensive, or interrupt, or say something insensitive. But instead of beating myself up, I tried to use those moments as learning opportunities. I’d apologize, we’d talk about it, and I’d try to do better next time. I also made some notes about what I felt that day, it really helps me to review those things.
The Results: Worth the Effort
Honestly, this whole “emotional safety” project has been a game-changer. It’s not like our relationship is perfect now, but it feels so much stronger and more connected. We’re communicating better, fighting less, and just generally enjoying each other’s company more. It’s like a weight has been lifted.
It made me feel secure and increased my sense of belonging.
It’s still a work in progress, of course. But I’m committed to keep practicing these things, because the payoff is huge. It’s like, the foundation of a relationship is built on this stuff, and it’s totally worth the effort to build it strong.
I feel the relationship with others become more meaningful.
