Well, let me tell ya, relationships, they ain’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it’s like them four horsemen of the apocalypse come ridin’ in, and boy, do they make a mess of things. I ain’t no fancy scholar, but I’ve seen enough in my days to know a thing or two about how folks can tear each other apart.
First off, there’s this thing called Criticism. Now, nobody’s perfect, we all mess up. But criticism, that’s different. It ain’t just sayin’ “Hey, you left the milk out again.” It’s more like, “You’re always forgettin’ things, you ain’t never thinkin’ about nobody but yourself!” See the difference? One’s about a thing you did, the other’s about who you are. It’s like they’re pickin’ at your soul, not just your actions. And let me tell ya, that stings. It makes you wanna put up your dukes and fight back, or just crawl into a hole and disappear.
And then comes Contempt. This one’s even uglier. It’s when you start lookin’ down on your partner, like they’re some kinda dirt on your shoe. You roll your eyes, you sneer, you make fun of ’em. You might even call ’em names, not in a playful way, but in a way that’s meant to cut deep. It’s like you ain’t got no respect for ’em, like they ain’t even worth your time. I seen folks treat their dogs better than some treat their own husbands or wives. It’s a sorry sight, let me tell ya. Contempt, it’s poison, pure and simple. It eats away at the love till there ain’t nothin’ left but bitterness.
- Makes you feel small
- Like you ain’t worth nothin’
- Eats away at love
Then you got Defensiveness. This is when you can’t never admit you’re wrong. Somebody says, “Hey, honey, maybe we coulda done that differently,” and you jump down their throat. “It ain’t my fault! You’re the one who…” It’s like a ping-pong match, back and forth, nobody listenin’, everybody just tryin’ to protect themselves. And the problem is, when you’re so busy defendin’ yourself, you ain’t got no time to actually hear what your partner’s sayin’. You’re too busy buildin’ up walls to let any love in.
And last but not least, there’s Stonewalling. This is when you just shut down. You clam up, you turn away, you might as well be talkin’ to a brick wall. It’s like you’re sayin’, “I ain’t even gonna bother with you anymore.” And that’s a lonely, lonely place to be. You feel like you’re invisible, like you don’t even matter. It’s the silent treatment, on steroids. And let me tell you, silence can be louder than any shoutin’ match. It’s the sound of a relationship dyin’, slow and painful.
So, what do you do when these four horsemen come callin’? Well, first off, you gotta recognize ’em. You gotta see ’em for what they are: relationship killers. And then you gotta fight back. With kindness, with understanding, with a willingness to listen and to change. It ain’t easy, I tell ya. It takes work, hard work. But if you wanna keep your love alive, you gotta be willin’ to put in the effort.
Instead of just tearin’ into your partner, try talkin’ to ’em like you actually like ’em. Use words like “I feel” instead of “You always.” And for goodness sake, put down your phone and listen when they’re talkin’ to you! It ain’t rocket science, folks. It’s just about treatin’ each other with a little bit of respect and a whole lotta love.
Remember this, ain’t no relationship perfect. We all stumble, we all fall. But if you can learn to fight off them four horsemen, you got a fighting chance at makin’ it work. You gotta choose love, every day. You gotta choose kindness, even when it’s hard. And you gotta choose to keep fightin’ for your relationship, even when it feels like it’s fallin’ apart. ‘Cause at the end of the day, love is worth fightin’ for.
