So, I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole gender thing lately. It’s been a wild ride, let me tell you. I started by just, you know, feeling different. Like, I never really fit in with the guys, but I wasn’t exactly one of the girls either. It was confusing as hell.
I began digging around online, reading articles, watching videos, trying to figure out what was up with me. I stumbled upon this term “transgender,” and it was like a lightbulb went off. I mean, it made sense, right? My body didn’t match what was going on in my head. I started experimenting a bit. Tried out different pronouns online, used a different name in some online spaces. It felt… right. Like, for the first time, I felt like I was actually being me, not some version of me I thought I should be.
Then, I took a big step and started talking to a therapist. That was scary, but it helped a lot. They helped me sort through all these feelings and thoughts I was having. They didn’t tell me I was trans, but they helped me figure it out for myself. We talked about how I felt when people used my birth name versus the name I’d chosen. How I felt in the clothes I was “supposed” to wear versus the clothes I wanted to wear.
- I realized that when I closed my eyes and pictured myself, I saw a different body. Not drastically different, but different enough to matter.
- I noticed that hearing people use she/her pronouns for me made me feel good, while he/him just felt… wrong.
- I found myself “lying” about my gender online, not to deceive anyone, but because it felt more real to me than telling the “truth.”
It wasn’t an overnight thing. It was a process. A long, sometimes confusing, sometimes painful process. But I kept exploring. I kept talking. I kept learning about myself. And eventually, I got to a place where I could say, without a doubt, that I’m trans. And you know what? It feels amazing. It’s like I finally found where I belong.
It’s not easy. There are still days when I doubt myself. Days when I’m scared. But I keep moving forward. Because I know who I am now, and I’m not going back. I’m still on this journey, figuring things out as I go. But the most important thing is, I’m doing it on my own terms, and I’m finally feeling like the person I was always meant to be.
