Okay, so yesterday I decided to mess around with this “altercation but nice” thing. It sounded kinda weird, but I was bored and figured, why not?
Getting Started
First, I needed to figure out what this even meant. “Altercation” usually means a noisy argument or disagreement, right? But then adding “but nice” on the end? It’s like… a polite fight? A friendly disagreement? I was picturing two people bowing to each other before yelling. It was a funny image.
I started by, you know, just thinking about situations. Where could I stage a “nice” altercation? The grocery store seemed like a good bet. Plenty of opportunities for minor disagreements.
The Experiment
So, I went to the store. I wasn’t trying to cause trouble, just… observe and maybe gently nudge things. I saw two people reaching for the last bag of chips. Perfect!
- Me (to both): “Oh, excuse me! It appears we have a slight… a refined disagreement over the final bag of deliciousness.”
- Person 1: “Uh… I think I got here first.”
- Person 2: “Well, my hand was closer, technically.”
- Me: “Indeed! A fascinating conundrum. Perhaps we could engage in a brief, yet spirited, debate on the merits of each of your claims?”
They were giving very strange looks,but continued anyway.
It was… awkward. They mostly just stared at me. I tried to keep it going.
- Me: “Sir, you mentioned being here ‘first’. Could you elaborate on the temporal specifics of your arrival?”
- Person 1: “I… I walked up?”
- Me:“Interesting. You walked up. And you Madam? What say you?”
- Person 2:“Look, I just want the chips”
Okay, so it wasn’t exactly a roaring altercation. More like a mildly confused exchange. Finally, Person 2 just grabbed the chips and said, “You know what? You take them.”
The Aftermath
Person 1 looked relieved. I bowed slightly and said, “A most gracious resolution! Bravo!” They both walked away quickly.
So, my “altercation but nice” experiment? Maybe not a total success. It was definitely more awkward than anything. But it was also kinda funny. I learned that trying to force a “nice” fight is pretty much impossible. People just want to get their groceries and go home. It’s tough. I’ll have to try something else next time.
