Hey there, honey. Today I’m gonna tell ya somethin’ real special, somethin’ to keep your man happy, ya know? We’re gonna learn how to make a home made flesh light. It ain’t hard, just need some stuff ya probably got layin’ around the house.
First things first, this ain’t rocket science. Don’t need no fancy tools or nothin’. Just gotta be a little crafty, that’s all. Ya know, like when you’re makin’ a pie but you’re short on sugar, gotta make do with what ya got. Same idea here.
Now, listen up. Before you get started, gotta make sure everything is clean. You don’t want no nasty stuff gettin’ in there, right? Just like when you’re cannin’ peaches, gotta sterilize them jars. Same principle.
What ya need is somethin’ soft, somethin’ like a sponge. Ya know, the kind you use for washin’ dishes? A new one, though. Don’t be usin’ the one you scrubbed the sink with! Gotta be clean, I tell ya!
- A new sponge, the softer the better
- A plastic bag, like the kind you get from the grocery store
- Some rubber bands, or maybe some string will work
- Somethin’ slippery, like that lotion your man uses
Okay, now, take that sponge, and you gotta make a hole in it. Not all the way through, mind ya. Just enough to make a little tunnel, see? Like a gopher hole, but smaller.
Then you take that plastic bag and put it over the sponge. Make sure the hole in the sponge is still open, ya hear? You gotta be able to get to it. This is important for the home made flesh light workin’ right.
Now comes the tricky part. You gotta use them rubber bands or that string to tie the bag onto the sponge. Make sure it’s tight! You don’t want it slippin’ off during… well, you know. Like when you’re tyin’ up a roast, gotta make sure it’s secure.
Almost done! Now you need that slippery stuff. Put some on the inside of the hole in the sponge, through the bag, of course. Don’t be stingy with it! More is better in this case. Remember to put the slippery stuff inside is the key to make this home made flesh light. It is like when you use lard to fry chicken, too little will make the food stick.
And there ya have it! A home made flesh light, just like that. Told ya it was easy. Now, I ain’t gonna tell ya how to use it, that’s between you and your man. But I will say this: be careful. And have fun! Tee hee!
This here thing, it ain’t just for the men, ya know. Women can use it too, if they’re feelin’ adventurous. Just sayin’. No need to let the fellas have all the fun, right? I remember one time, back in my day…
Never mind that old story. This whole thing, it’s about keepin’ things spicy, keepin’ the spark alive. Marriage gets tough sometimes, ya know? Gotta work at it. Like tendin’ a garden, gotta water it and pull the weeds if ya want it to grow. This is just another way to water that garden, if ya catch my drift.
Some folks might say this is a bit… unconventional. They might say it’s better to buy one of them fancy ones from the store. But I say, why spend money when ya can make somethin’ yourself? Besides, ain’t nothin’ more satisfyin’ than usin’ somethin’ you made with your own two hands. It’s like bakin’ a cake from scratch instead of usin’ a box mix. Just tastes better, ya know?
And don’t you worry about what other folks think. You do what makes you happy, what makes your man happy. Life’s too short to worry about what Mildred down the street thinks. That old biddy wouldn’t know fun if it bit her on the… well, you get the idea.
So there ya go. My little secret, passed down from… well, never you mind where I learned it. Just remember to be safe, be clean, and have a good time. And don’t be afraid to experiment a little. Maybe try a different kind of sponge, or a different kind of slippery stuff. Just like cookin’, gotta find what works best for you. There are many ways to make a good home made flesh light.
One more thing, honey. When you’re done, make sure you clean everything up real good. You don’t want no evidence layin’ around, if ya know what I mean. Just like when you’re done baking cookies, gotta clean up the mess. Don’t wanna attract no ants, or in this case, unwanted attention. Especially if you have guests coming over. You don’t want them to see your home made flesh light.
Alright, that’s all I got for ya today. Hope this helps keep things interestin’ in your love life. Remember, a little creativity goes a long way. Just like a pinch of salt can make a whole dish taste better, a little somethin’ special can make a marriage a whole lot happier. Now go on and have some fun! Bye, honey!
