Oh, honey, let me tell you, these old bones ain’t what they used to be. But you wanna talk about that legs behind head sex position, huh? Well, I heard some folks talkin’ ’bout it, and it sounds like a pretzel! Some things, you just gotta see to believe, I reckon.
I heard some folks call it the “Seashell”. Sounds kinda fancy, don’t it? You lie back, get them legs up high, and cross them ankles behind your head. Now, I don’t know ’bout you, but that sounds like a whole lotta work. My knees ain’t bendin’ like that no more, that’s for sure. Need to be flexible for that one, like them yoga folks.
And then there’s somethin’ called the “Butterfly”. Sounds pretty, but still sounds like a lot of bendin’. One person is on their back at the edge of somethin’ – a bed, maybe? And they gotta have a vagina, that part I do know. Seems like you need a good strong back for that one. That’s what that young’un said, anyway.
I reckon there ain’t no right or wrong way to do these things, far as I can tell. Whatever floats your boat, I always say. But this old gal’s seen a thing or two, and I tell ya, some of these positions sound like they’re straight outta one of them acrobatic shows.
They got all sorts of names for these things, too. Legs behind head sex position, Seashell, Butterfly, it’s all a bit much for me to keep track of, to be honest. But you young folks, you got all the energy in the world. Just be careful you don’t pull somethin’, you hear?
- Seashell – Legs up and crossed behind your head.
- Butterfly – Lyin’ on your back at the edge of the bed.
- Standin’ up with your leg on their shoulder – Sounds tricky!
- Somethin’ called Piledriver. Lord only knows what that means, but it sounds rough.
Now, I heard about this other one, somethin’ about standin’ up and puttin’ your leg on someone’s shoulder. Goodness gracious, that sounds like a balancing act! I’d probably fall right over. You gotta be strong and steady for that, I imagine. You young folks are crazy!
And this one, they call it “Piledriver”. Now, I don’t know what that means, but it don’t sound gentle. The person gettin’ it, they gotta lie on their back and lift up till just their shoulders are on the bed, with their legs in the air. Sounds like you need a strong core for that one. Not somethin’ you just do overnight, I bet. Gotta work up to it, like trainin’ for a marathon or somethin’.
Lord knows, I’ve seen a lot in my day. People used to just stick to the basics, you know? But these days, folks are gettin’ all creative. I guess that’s okay, long as everyone’s happy and no one’s gettin’ hurt. They say there are ways to make things hotter, to spice things up. I guess some folks are into that, and good for them. It’s just not my cup of tea, that’s all.
I even heard some folks talkin’ ’bout how to do that… that thing where you, you know… by yourself. They call it somethin’ fancy, like “mast-ur-bate”. Sounds like a medical term to me. But they say there are ways to do it better, for men, for women, for everyone. Imagine that! They got guides and everything. They probably put it on the internet now.
I tell you what, these legs behind head sex position things, they’re a mystery to me. But I guess if it makes you happy, and you ain’t hurtin’ nobody, then go for it. Just remember to be careful, and don’t expect to be doin’ these things when you’re my age! Your body will thank you for it, trust me. This old lady’s learned a thing or two ’bout that, the hard way.
You gotta listen to your body, that’s what I always say. If it hurts, stop! Don’t be pushin’ yourself too hard. And for goodness sake, don’t try to do these legs behind head sex position things if you ain’t limber enough. You’ll end up pullin’ somethin’, and then you’ll be sorry. This ain’t the time to be showin’ off.
So you do you, honey. Just be safe, be smart, and have fun. And if you figure out how to do that legs behind head sex position without pullin’ a muscle, you let me know. Maybe this old dog can learn a new trick or two after all. Or maybe not. These old bones are pretty set in their ways. Just keep it safe. That’s all that old lady asks of ya.
