Alright, alright, so you wanna know how to get busy with one of them porn stars, huh? Well, listen up, ’cause I’m gonna tell ya what I know, even though I ain’t never done it myself. Lord have mercy! It ain’t as easy as watchin’ them on that there computer screen, I tell ya.
First off, you gotta find one of them folks. They ain’t just hangin’ around the grocery store, you know. I heard tell they go to these big meetin’s, like conventions. Yeah, like them fancy farmer’s markets, but instead of sellin’ tomatoes, they sellin’, well, you know… somethin’ else. You could try goin’ to one of them things, but you better wear your good shoes and maybe slick back your hair, try to look presentable.
Another place they say you can find ’em is on that there internet. Now, I don’t know much about that thing, all them buttons and whatnot, makes my head spin. But the young’uns, they say you can chat with them stars online. Just be careful, there’s a lot of snakes in the grass on that internet, pretendin’ to be somethin’ they ain’t. Don’t go sendin’ money to nobody you ain’t never seen in person, you hear?
Okay, so let’s say you found one, and they’re willin’ to talk to ya. Now what? Well, you gotta be charming, they say. Don’t go blabberin’ on about this and that, makin’ a fool of yourself. Treat ’em like a regular person, ’cause that’s what they are, under all that… well, you know. Ask ’em about their day, about their dog, whatever. Just be nice.
Now, here’s somethin’ I heard from my niece, who heard it from a friend of a friend, so take it with a grain of salt. She said them fellas on them movies, they sometimes need a little… help… down there, if you know what I mean. Pills and such. So don’t be surprised if that comes up. And don’t go judgin’ nobody, either. Everybody got their own ways of doin’ things.
And don’t think it’s all fancy and glamorous, like them movies make it out to be. It’s work for them, just like how I used to work in the fields all day. It can be hard, and it can be lonely, even with all them people around. So be respectful, you hear?
There’s also these things called “tutorial porn,” whatever that is. Sounds like they teach you things while they’re, you know… doin’ it. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from that, but I reckon most of it ain’t for regular folks like us. We just like to keep things simple and private.
And listen, if you do happen to meet one of them stars in person, don’t go actin’ all crazy. They just regular people, like I said. Riley Reid, that’s one of them famous ones, she even made a video sayin’ what you should do if you meet her. Basically, just be cool, don’t be a weirdo. Common sense, really.
One more thing, and this is important. Don’t go thinkin’ you know everything about them just ’cause you seen ’em on a screen. They got lives, they got feelings, just like you and me. So treat ’em with respect, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to know ’em a little better. And who knows, maybe you’ll even get lucky. But don’t hold your breath, ’cause life ain’t a fairy tale.
So that’s about all I know about gettin’ busy with a porn star. Like I said, I ain’t never done it myself, but I hear things, you know? Just be respectful, be yourself, and don’t expect nothin’. And for goodness sake, be safe!
In conclusion, meetin’ a porn star is probably harder than findin’ a good watermelon in December. You gotta go where they are, be nice, and remember they’re just people doin’ a job. Now, I gotta go make some supper. All this talk about…well, you know… makes me hungry for some good ol’ fashioned meatloaf.
- Find porn stars at conventions or online.
- Be charming and respectful when talking to them.
- Understand that their job isn’t always glamorous.
- Don’t expect too much, and always be safe.
Tags: Porn Stars, Meeting Porn Stars, Dating Advice, Sex Tips, Adult Entertainment, Relationships
