Alright, so another friend’s birthday was coming up on the calendar. You know the drill. Time to figure out what to say beyond the usual “Happy Birthday!” that everyone just slaps on a social media wall. I always feel a bit stuck, trying to make it sound like I actually put a second of thought into it.
My first instinct, like most folks, is probably just to type out “Have a great day!” or “Hope you get spoiled!” Super original, right? I used to see those generic messages people copy-paste: “On your birthday, I want you to know that I am happy to have you as my friend. You are a constant source of inspiration…” and man, it just felt so… empty. Like, did a robot write this?
So, here’s what I started doing. It’s not rocket science, but it feels a bit more, well, human.
First, I actually stop and think for a minute. What’s been going on with this friend lately? Any big news? Any small thing they mentioned that stuck with me? Maybe they were stressed about something, or excited about a new hobby. I try to grab onto one or two specific things.
Then, I usually jot down a few quick notes. Seriously, just bullet points on my phone or a scrap of paper. It might look something like this for a friend:
- Remember that awful camping trip when it rained nonstop? (funny memory)
- They just got that promotion they worked so hard for. (recent event)
- Always gives the best advice, even when I don’t wanna hear it. (appreciation)
Once I have those, I try to weave them into the message. So instead of just “Happy Birthday!” it becomes something more like, “Hey! Happy Birthday! Hope you’re celebrating better than we did on that disastrous camping trip, haha! Seriously though, so stoked to hear about your promotion – you totally earned it. Thanks for always being the one I can count on for straight talk.”
Now, you might be thinking, “Why go through all that? It’s just a birthday wish.” And yeah, I get it. For a long time, I thought the same. Just fire off a quick text and done. But something changed my mind a while back.
Here’s the deal, and why I actually bother with this stuff now. A good few years ago, I was going through a really rough patch. I mean, things were just bad. My birthday came around, and honestly, I was just trying to get through the day. I wasn’t expecting much, maybe a few quick “HBDs” on my timeline. Then, I got a message. It wasn’t even a call, just a fairly long text from an old friend, someone I hadn’t really spoken to in ages.
This message wasn’t the usual “Hope you have a great one!” Nope. This person remembered some tiny, stupid thing I’d done for them years before, something I’d completely forgotten. They mentioned an inside joke from way back. And then they said something about how they admired how I was handling things, even though they only knew a little of what was going on. Man, I’m not gonna lie, it hit me hard. It wasn’t just fluff. It felt like someone actually saw me. That message, that little bit of extra effort, meant the world to me right then.
Ever since that day, I’ve tried to put a bit more of myself into birthday messages. It’s not about writing an essay. It’s just about being a bit more present, a bit more genuine. Because you never really know what someone else is going through, and sometimes, a few thoughtful words can make a bigger difference than you think.
So, for this recent friend, I typed out my message. I mentioned a concert we both loved, wished them well on a project they were nervous about, and threw in a silly inside joke. Added an emoji we overuse. Hit send. And you know what? It felt pretty good. Way better than just sending a generic greeting. Took a few extra minutes, sure, but it felt like I actually connected, even if just for a moment.
