My Journey into What Some Folks Call “Soft Sex”
Alright, so someone asked me to share my experiences with this “soft sex” idea. It’s not like I had a manual or anything. It kinda just happened, you know? I got to a point where the usual stuff felt a bit… mechanical. Like checking boxes. I figured there had to be more to it, something less about the finish line and more about the journey, if that makes any sense.

So, How Did I Even Start?
Honestly, I just started trying to slow things way down. My first attempts were probably super awkward. I’d read a bit, heard people talk about intimacy, connection, all that jazz. So, I thought, “Okay, let’s try to actually do that.” I remember consciously trying to make things last longer, not rushing. It felt weird at first, almost like I was doing it wrong because it wasn’t the usual pace. My partner was probably wondering what was up too, ha!
- First thing I really focused on was just being present. Sounds simple, but my mind used to wander all over the place. I made an effort to just be there, in the moment.
- Then, I started to really pay attention to touch. Not just any touch, but, like, really feeling it. Gentle stuff, exploring different pressures, different areas. It wasn’t about hitting specific ‘spots’ anymore.
- I also began to set a different mood. Before, it was just, you know, whenever. But then I started thinking about the environment – maybe some soft music, dimming the lights. Little things that signaled, “Hey, let’s take our time with this.”
The “Practice” and “Keeping Notes” Bit
When I say “practice,” I don’t mean I was drilling it like homework. It was more like experimenting. And “keeping notes” wasn’t a diary, LOL. It was more like I’d think about it afterwards. What felt good? What felt… disconnected? Sometimes, we’d actually talk about it, not in a clinical way, but just sharing what we liked or didn’t. Like, “Hey, when you did that thing with my hair, that was amazing,” or “Hmm, maybe let’s not rush that part next time.” It was a lot of trial and error, really.
What I Figured Out Along the Way
After a while of this experimenting and mental note-taking, some things became super clear to me. It wasn’t a magic formula, but more of a shift in how I approached things.

- Anticipation is everything: Seriously, letting things build up slowly, the teasing, the waiting… that became way more powerful than I ever thought. It’s like the main event became the whole build-up itself.
- Use all your senses: It wasn’t just about what you could feel with your hands. It was about smells, sounds – like quiet breathing or whispers – even just looking at each other. Making it a full-body, full-mind experience.
- Forget the goal: This was a big one. Letting go of the idea that every single time had to end in a specific way. Sometimes just the closeness, the cuddling, the soft touches, that was enough. That was the point. It took the pressure off, big time.
- Communication, but chill: Not like a business meeting, but just soft words, sounds, guiding each other without a whole production. It made things feel more connected.
So, What Was the Point of All This?
Well, it completely changed things for me. And for us. It wasn’t just about the physical act anymore. It became about feeling truly close, truly intimate. Things felt less like a routine and more like a genuine connection each time. It’s like I discovered a whole new layer to it all, something deeper and, honestly, way more satisfying. I stopped feeling like I was just going through motions. It made intimacy feel… well, softer, and a hell of a lot richer.
So yeah, that’s my ramble on it. It wasn’t a straightforward path, lots of fumbling around. But it’s been good. Still learning, still exploring. But I’m glad I started down this road. Definitely made things more interesting and way more meaningful.