Okay, so, the other day, I was feeling totally out of sync with my husband. We’d both been stressed with work, the kids were being, well, kids, and we just weren’t connecting. I knew I needed to shake things up and get myself in the mood. Here’s what I did:
First: Get My Head Right
I started by acknowledging that I wanted to want it. Sounds simple, but it’s huge. I told myself, “I want to feel close to him again.” No pressure, just a desire.
Operation: De-Stress
- Shower Power: I took a long, hot shower. Not a quick “get clean” shower, but a real “wash the day away” shower. I used that yummy body wash I save for special occasions.
- Pajama Upgrade: I ditch the oversized t-shirt and old sweatpants. I Found something soft, and a little, well, you know… flattering. Nothing crazy, just something that made me feel good.
- Quick Tidy-Up: Clutter makes me crazy. so I did a super-fast sweep of the bedroom. Picked up clothes, straightened the pillows. It’s amazing how much better a clean space feels.
Setting the Scene(without being cheesy)
I had to get creative. I thought maybe dim the lights, get some soft music, something to give a romantic feel, you know?
- Subtle Lighting: I don’t own candles(toddler hazard!), so I just turned off the overhead light and used a bedside lamp. Instant mood shift.
- Music (Not the Sexy Kind): Forget the slow jams. I put on some music we both like, something upbeat that just makes us happy. It was some old-school hip-hop we used to listen to when we first started dating.
Time for Connection,baby
- Real Talk: We sat on the couch, without our phones, and just talked. Not about bills or chores, but about, like, us. Remembered some funny stories, talked about a trip we wanted to take.
- Touchy-Feely (But Not That Way): I just made an effort to touch him more. Held his hand, leaned against him on the couch, gave him a long hug. Simple stuff, but it starts to break down those walls.
The Result
Honestly, it worked! It wasn’t like a switch flipped, but by the end of the evening, I felt way more relaxed, connected, and, yeah, in the mood. It wasn’t about forcing anything, but about creating the space for it to happen. I feel like I need to make this a more regular thing, not just a “special occasion” fix.
