So, I had this thing I wanted to try out, something called “the anger iceberg.” I heard it’s like, your anger is just the tip, and there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on underneath. Sounds interesting, right?
Getting Started
First, I found a quiet spot where I could just chill and think. No distractions, you know? Then I grabbed my notebook and pen because I wanted to write things down as I went. Old school, I know, but it works for me.
Diving In
I started by just thinking about the last time I got really mad. Like, really mad. I closed my eyes and tried to remember all the details. What happened? Who was there? How did I feel? It was kind of intense, reliving it all. I wrote down everything that came to mind, like a brain dump. Just getting it all out there.
- What made me mad?
- How did my body feel?
- What was I thinking at that moment?
Then I started to dig deeper. What was under the surface of that anger? Was I feeling hurt? Disrespected? Scared? It was like peeling back the layers of an onion. And yeah, it did make me tear up a bit, not gonna lie. There were lots of feelings like sadness, fear, and disappointment mixed in there.
Figuring It Out
This is where it got interesting. I started to see patterns. Like, I realized I get really mad when I feel like I’m not being heard. Or when I’m super stressed about something else. It’s like my anger is a warning light, telling me something’s not right. Also, I found that most of my anger can trace back to things I care deeply.
Making Changes
So, what did I do with all this newfound knowledge? I started by trying to be more aware of my triggers. Like, if I know I’m going into a situation that might push my buttons, I try to prepare myself. I take a few deep breaths, remind myself it’s okay to feel my feelings, and try to go in with a more open mind. I try to express my needs and feelings more clearly to avoid misunderstanding.
And I’ve also been working on dealing with those underlying emotions. It’s not easy, but I’m trying to be more patient with myself and give myself space to feel what I need to feel, without judgment. Also, I start to seek support from friends, family, or professionals when needed. It’s okay to ask for help.
Looking Back
This whole “anger iceberg” thing has been a real eye-opener for me. It’s not just about managing my anger, it’s about understanding myself better. And it’s a work in progress, you know? I’m not perfect, and I still get mad sometimes. But now I feel like I have a better handle on it. I can see the bigger picture, and that makes all the difference. I can see what is beneath the anger and deal with the root cause. It feels good to take control and understand myself better. I’m excited to keep exploring and growing. Maybe it is helpful to you, too!
