Okay, so, about relationship expectations. It’s a biggie, right? I’ve been through a few, and man, it’s a learning curve. I decided to get a bit organized about it, maybe even a little systematic. I thought, “Why not treat this like a project?” A bit weird, I know, but it kinda worked.
First, I sat down and really thought about what I wanted from a relationship. Not just the usual stuff, like, “Oh, I want someone nice and funny.” But like, deep down stuff. I made a list. Yes, an actual list. It had things like “communication style,” “life goals,” “how we handle disagreements,” you know, the nitty-gritty.
My Little Experiment
- Created a “Relationship Wishlist” – Sounds cheesy, but it helped.
- Started dating with this in mind – Not like a checklist, but more like guidelines.
- Observed how potential partners reacted to my expectations – Some were cool, some, not so much.
- Reflected after each date – What worked, what didn’t, what was I not willing to compromise on.
- Adjusted my approach based on these reflections.
Next up, I started actually going on dates, keeping my list in the back of my mind. Not in a creepy, “let me evaluate you” way, but more like, “let’s see if we’re on the same page” kind of way. I was pretty upfront about what I was looking for, too. Not on the first date, obviously, but as things got a bit more serious.
And you know what? It was interesting. Some people were totally on board with open communication and having those deep talks. Others, not so much. I noticed that when I was clear about my expectations, it was easier to see if we were a good fit. No guessing games.
I kept a journal during this whole thing. After each date, or even just when I had thoughts about the whole process, I wrote them down. What went well, what didn’t, how did I feel about this person in relation to my “wishlist”? It was super helpful to look back and see patterns. I learned a lot about myself, too. Like, I realized I was way more into “quality time” than I thought. Who knew?
After a few months of this, I adjusted my approach. I realized some things on my list were more important than others. Like, “must love dogs” became a non-negotiable after a few dates with people who just didn’t get my dog obsession. And I relaxed on some other things. “Must be a morning person,” for example, wasn’t as crucial as I initially thought.
Honestly, it felt a bit like an experiment. But a good one. I got clearer on what I wanted and what I was willing to give in a relationship. And I met someone who matched what I was looking for. We’re still together, and it’s pretty great. We still have those open chats about what we expect from each other. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
So, yeah, that’s my take on relationship expectations. Treat it a bit like a project, be clear on what you want, and don’t be afraid to adjust along the way. It worked for me, might work for you too. Who knows?
