What does it mean to be rough with love? Heres how to do it right!

Okay, so today I want to talk about “what does it mean to be rough with love”. Sounds a bit wild, right? Well, let me tell you, it’s been a journey figuring this one out.

I started by thinking about my own relationships, both romantic and platonic. When was I “rough” with love? What did that even look like? I realized that sometimes, being tough meant setting boundaries.

Like that one time my friend kept canceling plans last minute. I finally told her straight up that it wasn’t cool and it was hurting our friendship. That was tough, but it was necessary.
Or when my partner was being really self-critical. Instead of just comforting them, I challenged them to see their own worth. That’s a kind of “rough” love too, right? Pushing someone to be their best, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Then I dove into some articles and stuff online. I read about how being “hard to love” can mean someone is prioritizing their own needs without considering the other person. That really hit me. It’s not about being mean, it’s about being honest and holding people accountable.

My Experiment

So, I decided to try an experiment. For one week, I committed to being more “rough” with love in my interactions. This is what I did:

I practiced saying “no” more often, even to small requests, if I felt they were infringing on my time or energy.
I confronted a family member about a recurring issue that was bothering me, instead of just letting it slide.
I gave honest feedback to a coworker, even though it was a bit critical, because I knew it would help them in the long run.

It was awkward at first. People were surprised by my directness. But you know what? It felt good. It felt authentic. And it actually improved my relationships. By being “rough” – which, let’s be real, just means being honest and setting boundaries – I showed that I cared enough to be real with them.

Now, I’m not saying you should go around being a jerk. That’s not what this is about. Being “rough” with love is about respect – respecting yourself and respecting others enough to be honest, even when it’s tough. It’s about pushing people to be their best, even when it’s uncomfortable. And it’s about building stronger, more authentic relationships.