So this issue popped up with my boyfriend a few weeks back – we’re getting busy, things are heating up, then suddenly he goes soft right in the middle. Felt super awkward for both of us. I could tell he was embarrassed as hell, kept apologizing like crazy.
First Thing I Did
Started paying close attention to patterns. Noticed it always happened around midnight after his brutal work shifts. Dude was falling asleep during foreplay sometimes. Realized exhaustion was probably kicking his ass.
Tried Changing Our Routine
We switched sexytime to mornings when he’s fresh. Made a huge difference immediately. Also:
- Dimmed the bedroom lights to reduce pressure
- Put on slow jams instead of dead silence
- Stopped making goal-oriented moves towards penetration
The Alcohol Mistake
Tried giving him whiskey to relax once – total backfire. Liquid courage made things worse since alcohol kills erections. Never doing that again.
Game-Changing Tricks
When he’d start losing it mid-act:
- I’d immediately shift to just kissing/grinding
- Whispered “no rush” instead of asking if he’s okay
- Kept physical contact constant but pressure-free
That cool-down technique worked magic – half the time he’d bounce back naturally in 5 minutes.
Finally Broke Through
After 3 weeks of adjustments:
1) Morning sessions became our sweet spot
2) He stopped freaking out when occasional softness happened
3) We actually laugh about it now during recovery breaks
Biggest lesson? It’s rarely about attraction – usually stress, tiredness or performance anxiety snowballing. Chill vibes fix most issues.
