Okay, so, like, the other day, I was thinking about this whole thing with my husband and how he just, you know, loses it sometimes. I mean, he just starts yelling, and I’m like, “What is going on?” So, I started to pay more attention to when this stuff happens. I grabbed a notebook and started jotting down every time he yelled, what we were talking about, what I was doing – everything.
At first, it seemed like it was totally random. But then, I started to see some, like, patterns. It was usually when he was super stressed out about work or when we were talking about money, which, let’s be honest, is always a touchy subject. There was this one time, I remember, he was yelling because I asked him to help me with the dishes, and I realized, like, wow, he had just come home from a really bad day at work, and he probably just needed a minute to chill.
What I found out
- Stress is a big trigger. When he’s stressed, he’s way more likely to snap. I realized I should give him some space at times.
- Money talks, and sometimes they yell. Yeah, money discussions were often followed by him raising his voice.
- It’s not always about me. Sometimes, he’s just blowing off steam, and I just happen to be there.
So, I tried a few things after figuring this stuff out. Like, when I saw he was stressed, I started to just give him some space. I’d let him know I’m here if he needs to talk, but I wouldn’t push it. And with the money stuff, I tried to bring it up when we were both calm, not when we were already feeling the pressure, you know?
I also talked to my best friend about it. She’s always good for a chat, and she reminded me that it’s okay to tell him that I don’t like being yelled at. So, I did. I waited for a calm moment, and I told him, “Hey, when you yell, it really upsets me. Can we try to talk about things more calmly?”
What happened after that
Honestly, it didn’t change overnight, but it’s getting better. He still yells sometimes, but not as much. And when he does, I try to stay calm. I remind myself it’s not always about me, and I try to understand where he’s coming from. I also realized that I can leave the room. It helps to step away from the situation for a bit.
It’s like, I’m learning to navigate this whole thing better. It’s not perfect, and I still get upset sometimes, but I feel like I’m handling it better. And I think he’s trying, too, in his own way. We even talked about him maybe seeing a counselor to work on his stress, and I got one myself to improve myself. It’s tough, but I think it’s worth a shot. After all, marriage is all about working through the rough patches together, right?
